Sol shakes his head. “Honestly, it’s the other way around.”
“Well, we can’t wait,” my mom says. “I’ve had my outfit picked out for weeks! And I’ve already got my eye on a couple of items on the silent auction.”
“Well, thank you both for your generous donations,” Sol says. “I think they’re going to be amongst the most popular items.”
Mom donated a year’s supply of beauty products from her range, along with quarterly appointments from a skin specialist. The appointments are booked up to a year in advance, so it’s going to draw a lot of bids for sure. Dad also offered a free website build, which will also do well, but we all know which will draw more attention.
“You’re so welcome, Sol.” Mom beams at him.
I’m not prepared when Sol turns to me, his face so tantalizingly close. “I can’t believe it’s tomorrow,” he says. “It always felt so far away and now it’s finally here.”
“Time flies when you’re having fun,” Dad says, smirking at me as I look away. I glare at him in response. “What are you doing after graduation, Sol?”
“I want to be a physical therapist for disabled athletes. I’ve been offered a handful of entry level positions and I’m trying to decide which is the best fit for me at the moment.”
My parents nod along, hanging on every word he says. And I can’t even pretend I’m not doing the same. Where are the positions he’s been offered? Are any of them on the West Coast? My job with Rainer Corp. will take me to California. Are any of them there? The thought of Sol being on the East Coast is a double-edged sword. At least I’ll be able to breathe. But on the flip side, I don’t want him that far away. I almost snort into my coffee. My wishes have no bearing on his decision. We’re just friends, and after tomorrow, there’ll be no reason to keep meeting. It’ll all be over.
I try to console myself with the fact that it’s exactly what I wanted this whole time. When Sol put his heart on the line, I walked away because our paths aren’t headed in the same direction. They never were. I’m doing us both a favor. It’s something I tell myself daily, but the words seem weaker and weaker each time I try and make myself believe them.
“It’s so lovely to finally meet you, Sol,” my mom says, and my jaw tightens. “Wes has told us such great things about you.”
Sol’s eyebrows shoot up as he turns to me. “Oh? Like what?”
I grip my cup, hoping against hope that there’s a sinkhole under the campus that might choose to appear and end this, but much to my disappointment, the ground doesn’t open, and Grinds remains standing.
“I just told them about the fundraiser and how you manage to juggle so much and make it seem so easy.” I can’t look at him for more than a second, aware of my parents watching our every move.
“Well, this fundraiser wouldn’t have happened without you,” he says, bumping his shoulder with mine. “What you’ve done . . . I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express how much it means to me.”
I force myself to look up from my cup and every muscle tenses as I take in the raw emotion on his face. Despite our last fourteen meetings—yes, I’ve been counting—this is the closest I’ve been to him, and it would be oh so easy to lean closer. I honestly think I’d sell my soul to be able to wrap my arm around him and pull him to my chest, pressing a kiss against his temple. It’s a need that will never see the light of day, because I fucked up. It’s a deep, painful, ache in my soul, and I look away.
If the last few weeks have shown me anything, it’s that I will never meet another man as good as Sol. I hope whoever ends up with him realizes how goddamn lucky they are, because he deserves everything.
The barista calls out his name and Sol pushes to his feet. “It was lovely to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Bowers. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow at the fundraiser.”
“It was a pleasure,” my mom says. “We can’t wait.”
“And good luck with lacrosse,” Dad offers. “I’ve been following the team since Wes first mentioned you. You’re having an outstanding season.”
Sol beams, the tips of his ears turning red. I know how warm they’d feel beneath my fingers and I long to press my lips to them. Instead, I scowl at my coffee, long since gone cold.
“Thank you, sir. See you tomorrow.”
I don’t move, every sense on high alert as I listen to Sol collect his order, talking with Zak like he didn’t just turn my life upside down. I breathe a sigh of relief as I hear them make plans to abandon Alex and Sasha and head back to the Den instead.
My relief is short lived, however, because as soon as the bell jingles, signaling their departure, my parents pounce.
“Wes!” My mom presses a hand to her heart, her eyes comically large. “He’s even more gorgeous in person.”
“Please. Stop,” I grit out.
“Did you apologize?” Dad asks. “Why aren’t you two back together?”
“Shh!” I hiss, glancing around, but there’s no one in the seats nearest to us. “He’s not out. No one knows about us.”
That’s a lie. Sol might have happily taken up residence in Friendship Land, but Alex and Zak shoot daggers at me whenever our paths cross, so I’m certain they know. Even so, I have no idea whether Sol intends to date any other guys. My stomach twists at the thought.
My only comfort is the fact that if he was, I’d know. Sol Brooker coming out as queer would rocket like wildfire through the community, and if he was dating another guy, I’d know about it instantly. The fact that he’s not, doesn’t make me feel any better. Maybe he’s back with that tiny girl from the women’s lacrosse team. The one he kissed at the party.