Bunched up material hits my back and I mutter a thanks as I pull it on. What the fuck just happened? I’ve had girls over before, but not once have any of my family members walked in on us. Thank fuck we weren’t actually doing anything. Although, with me on top of him, we might as well have been. It’s clear as fucking day we’re not two friends hanging out.
“I can’t believe we . . .” I mutter, striding to the door. “Why the hell did I . . .”
Pulling it open, I pause. Will Jacey go straight to Mom and Dad? What if I’ve scarred her for life? Fucking fuck. I don’t know what to do. Desperately trying to hold myself together, I turn to Wes.
He’s already dressed. I watch as he picks up his wallet and phone, sliding them into his pocket, before picking up his glasses and putting them on.
“I’ll see you back on campus,” he says, not meeting my eye as I reach out and grab his arm. “Wait. What?”
His face gives nothing away, the stoic mountain returned. “I don’t want to be here for whatever excuse you’re going to come up with for why we were in bed together.”
All I can do is stare at him. I don’t realize my fingers are still clutching his shirt until he shrugs me off.
He shakes his head, still refusing to look at me. “Look. I know this might feel like a dick move, but it’s exactly why I tried not to do this with you.”
“What?” I rub my eyes, trying to work out how I went from waking up deliriously happy, to the world crashing down around me. “Do what with me?”
He sighs. “Us. It’s exactly why I don’t get mixed up with guys who aren’t out. The hiding. The embarrassment. It’s something I don’t want to deal with.”
“I’m not embarrassed,” I say, pressing a hand to his chest as he tries to move past again.
“Could have fooled me.”
The unmovable calmness that usually anchors me like a ship in a storm causes my fingers to clench, my anger rising. “This is a big fucking deal, Wes. I’m still figuring this shit out. You know that. Doing this was stupid. Beyond fucking stupid.”
Wes stares at me. “Yeah. It was.”
As he pushes past me, my anger slips into something more. Even though I’m panicking, I know I don’t want Wes to leave. I don’t want things to end like this. Panic flares in my gut. Is that what this is? Are things ending?
“I told you I wasn’t perfect, Wes—that I didn’t have it all figured out. You should be fucking happy!”
He shakes his head, avoiding my eye as he starts to walk away. “Maybe you’ll have it figured out for the next guy you let fuck you.”
I watch him leave, his words bouncing around my head until I can’t take it anymore and I slam my fist against the wall.Fuck! What am I supposed to do?
The sound of the front door closing echoes faintly through the house and I take a shaky breath. I need to find Jacey. Why in the ever-loving-fuck is she up so early? God, it could have been so much worse. She doesn’t know we were naked under the covers. If she’d come in ten minutes later, she might have seen a whole lot more. My stomach churns with every step I take through the house, listening for any sounds that might betray where Jacey ran off to.
The coffee maker is on in the kitchen, so I resign myself to the fact that she’s probably gone there and told my parents. Shoving my fingers through my hair, I lift my chin and prepare for . . . I’m not sure what. I don’t know what to say.
I’m almost at the door when Jacey comes barreling downstairs, almost knocking into me. “Woah, Jace!”
“Sorry!” she gushes, then freezes with a grimace. “Sorry about earlier, too. You weren’t in your room, and I didn’t know Wes had stayed over. I’m so sorry.”
I stare down at her, blinking. “It’s fine. Look, I—”
“Where is he?” she asks, peering around me. “I’m helping Mom with breakfast. That’s why I’m up so early. We’re going to do a Brooker special!”
I’m not awake enough to deal with this. “What?”
“Where is Wes?” Jacey repeats slowly. “Why are you being so weird?”
My mouth opens and closes as I watch my little sister walk around me, as though I might somehow be able to hide Wes’ broad frame behind me. “Um, he left.”
Jacey gasps like she’s an extra in a bad horror movie. “He left? Why?”
It’s like my sister is fifty messages ahead on a chat thread that’s still going on and my brain is desperately trying to read through the back log, so I know what the hell’s going on. I’m still trying to figure it out when Jacey wraps her arms around my middle and squeezes.
“What’s this for?” I ask, stroking her hair.