The lie hangs like poison between us. He knows I’m not telling the truth. That’s the problem with having a friend who knows you better than you know yourself. I swear under my breath. Hell, he even knew I was attracted to men before I knew it myself.
“It’s Wes,” I mutter before I can change my mind.
Zak’s eyes widen to comical proportions. “Bowers? Seriously?”
“Why?”
He shakes his head. “No reason. I just didn’t know what your type would be.”
I knock my head back against the wall. “Maybe I don’t even have a type. I just know I . . . erm . . .”
“Think he’s hot,” Zak supplies, grinning widely.
My skin burns all the way to the tips of my ears. “Yeah.”
“So, you’re into big guys?” he says. “Interesting.”
“Fuck off. He’s not that much bigger than me.”
Zak laughs. “It’s interesting. I mean, every girl you’ve been with here has been really short. I mean, I was starting to wonder whether you had some sort of doll fetish.”
I roll my head to look at him. “Do you seriously spend your spare time analyzing my sex life?”
He laughs harder. “You’ve got to see what I’m saying, surely?”
“What? Because I like small women, I should also like small guys?” My mind reels at the words coming out of my mouth. How is this even a conversation I’m having?
“Well, Wes is taller than you,” Zak says. “And he’s got to have a few pounds on you, too.”
“He’s barely taller than me,” I mutter.
Zak’s got a point, though. I’ve thought back over every interaction I’ve had with Wes this year and it all comes back to that doorway. The doorway I’m standing next to now. Something about the broadness of him was just so appealing.
“So, what’s the plan?” Zak asks.
I down the rest of my drink and push off the wall. “Try not to get too wasted and see where the night takes me.”
As I pull open the door and head back into the Den, Zak chuckles behind me. “Yeah. I can’t see that going wrong at all.”
I say nothing. At this point, I can’t see myself getting the nerve to do anything other than hide.
* * *
The Den is heaving with bodies. In three years of parties, I don’t think I’ve ever seen the place so full. Trey is DJing as usual, but he seems to have convinced Joy to join him, and they’re engaged in some sort of battle that’s drawn a crowd that I’m sure is breaking several health and safety laws. Downing another shot of tequila, I wince and look away. It’ll be fine.
“Where’s Alex?” Zak asks, frowning over the rim of his own shot glass.
I shrug. “He was right here a second ago?”
We knew tonight would be a rough one for our friend. We’d found a half empty bottle of tequila in his room when we went to drag him downstairs for the party. Alex hates tequila.
As I rub my sternum against the uncomfortable burning sensation, I can’t say I’m a huge fan either.
“I’m gonna go look for him,” Zak says.
I open my mouth to say I’ll do the same, but he disappears into the crowd before I can utter a word. The second I’m alone, my nerves slam into me like a monster truck.
If I was looking to get laid tonight—which I’m not—it would be simple. Some dancing. A bit of eye contact. A few meaningful touches. A little kissing. And bam! Girl in my room. It’s never been particularly hard. I’m no Alex when it comes to being a player, but I haven’t really had a proper girlfriend during college either. This is different, though. A whole new ballgame.