“I’ve dated lots of guys.” I raise my chin, going for indignant, knowing deep down I’m exaggerated.
I’ve gone out with a few guys. Not what I would consider “lots.”
“That’s the key word. Dated. Nothing’s ever stuck. Like, ever,” Brooke says. “And I don’t know if I’d use the word lots either, sister.” I swear to God she’s a mind reader. “More like…a few.”
Damn it, she’s right. About everything. Not that I’m going to admit it. “It doesn’t matter,” I say, waving a hand. “He’s here temporarily. Soon he’ll go back home to California and forget all about me.”
“I thought a certain someone would go back home to California and forget all about me too, but that so didn’t happen.” Brooke holds up her hand and waves her fingers, her diamond engagement ring catching the light and nearly blinding me. “I think Tucker’s realizing what he gave up. And I’m guessing he’s interested in giving you another try.”
I seriously hate how she just phrased that. “Maybe I’m not interested in giving him another try,” I mutter, dropping my head so I can gaze at my hands, which are currently twisted together in my lap. Something I always do when I’m nervous.
“Then you should tell him,” Brooke says, her voice firm. “Don’t lead him on if you’re not interested.”
“Who said anything about Tucker wanting to give this—us—another try? Maybe he’s just in it for a fling! He’s probably just curious. See if there’s still a spark between us or whatever,” I say with a dismissive wave of my hand.
“Are you curious to see if there’s still a spark?” Brooke asks cautiously.
Yes. I already know there’s a spark. The energy crackles between us when we’re together. And when we touch? It’s like an electric shock every time he puts his hands on me. Imagine if he kissed me again. Actually…stripped me naked and did all of those wicked things I used to imagine when we were younger and I had no clue what to do.
I swallow hard and lift my head, my gaze locking with Brooke’s. “There’s still a spark.”
Her smug smile is annoying.
“Of course, there’s a spark,” I say irritably. “We always had chemistry. Isn’t that normal?”
“No, not really.”
I think of Brooke’s words the entire way home. It’s not normal for a couple who were together as teens to still have chemistry. I guess I should know that. A relationship, especially one in high school, usually runs its course. As in, when it’s over, it’s over.
And teenage relationships usually end spectacularly. Dramatically.
There was no drama between Tucker and me. Everything was fine until he got that letter of acceptance from his dream college. He started to withdraw, but I figured it was just…senior blues or something. Knowing that in a few short months, he’d be thrust out into the world all on his own.
I know the thought terrified me.
But then one day, he came to school, pulled me aside, and gently broke up with me. He didn’t even seem that upset. No, more like he was quiet, emotionless. He apologized, swore it had nothing to do with me.
It was all on him.
I’ve had a pretty decent life so far. No major catastrophes. No horrible losses. There have been a few hurdles as my business has grown, but nothing I can’t eventually tackle. I consider myself lucky. Blessed.
The worst thing that’s ever happened to me so far is Tucker ending our relationship. While he gave his reasons, it still felt abrupt.
I had no closure. One moment he was there, and the next he was gone. Vanished. Out of my life for good. I didn’t even go to the graduation ceremony that year, and I hadn’t missed one of those since my eighth grade year. But I couldn’t bear the thought of watching him receive his diploma, seeing him celebrate with his family and friends, knowing that he would soon leave Cunningham Falls forever.
It hurt too much.
Did he feel the same? Was the end of our relationship the worst thing he ever experienced? He’s led a fuller life than me, only because of his experiences. And he said he had regret over breaking up with me. He actually said if he could go back and change that moment, he would without hesitation. That threw me, because I’ve often wondered what would’ve happened if we’d stayed together.
Then he goes and says the same thing.
Why, after all these years, does he walk back into my life and turn it completely upside down? Am I giving him too much power? Or did he have that power all along?
Maybe he’s just looking for closure.
Maybe I’m just looking for closure too.
I’m tempted to bang my head against the steering wheel. It’s all so freaking confusing. I don’t know how I feel about Tucker. Worse, I don’t know how I should feel.