Shit. I don’t know what exactly I believed. I was eighteen and stupid. Headed for Texas A&M—my dream school—on a football scholarship. I felt like I was finally going places, that my life was going to take me on a different track.
And I didn’t want Maisey sitting at home waiting for me, lonely and sad. I didn’t want to hold her back. She deserved to be free.
So I cut her loose, believing the entire time that I was doing her a favor.
Instead, now I’m starting to think I just made the both of us miserable.
“I was an idiot for ending things,” I say just as she starts cutting into her steak.
The knife she’s holding clatters on her plate as she stares at me. “What did you just say?”
“I was an idiot,” I repeat, hoping she realizes how fucking real I’m being with her right now. “I should’ve never broken up with you.”
“Okay.” She draws the word out, and I know she doesn’t believe me. “But you still did it.”
“I know. And that was stupid. I was eighteen, and so fucking dumb.” I shake my head, never taking my eyes off her. I hope she knows. I hope she realizes every single word I’m saying is the absolute truth. “I hate that I hurt you.”
“It was a long time ago—” she starts but I cut her off.
“Doesn’t matter. I still hurt you, and it still hurts me, that I gave up on what we had. That I ruined it.” Having her sitting across from me, beautiful and sweet and in pain, I know without a doubt she’s the woman I’ve been looking for all my life.
Yet I threw her away.
“You didn’t ruin anything. We probably wouldn’t have lasted anyway,” she says, so very matter of fact.
“But what if we had? We could still be together.”
“Okay, so I’d be living with you in San Francisco and doing…what? Having your babies?”
The idea of her pregnant with my baby fills me with some unfamiliar, primal need. I’d like to see her body ripe with my child.
“I would’ve never become the independent businesswoman you just told me you admired,” she continues.
True.
“We had to take our separate paths to become who we are today, right?” Her smile is genuine, though her eyes are still a little sad. “And that’s okay. I’m happy with who I am. Aren’t you happy?”
“I am.” But I bet I’d be happier if she was back in my life.
For good.
* * * *
We leave the restaurant and the sun is long gone, the air carrying a slight chill. It’s still early summer; we’re not even midway through June but we haven’t been hit with a brutal heat wave yet. I’m not surprised then when I catch Maisey shivering.
Perfect excuse for me to sling my arm around her shoulders and tuck her in close to me. “You look cold,” I tell her, my mouth hovering close to her temple. I take a sniff, catching the floral scent of her shampoo, and my body goes on high alert.
I want her. No surprise.
“A little,” she admits, snuggling in closer as we walk together toward my car. “Summer will be upon us soon enough. I bet by the Fourth of July I’ll be complaining about how hot it is.”
“Summer will be here officially next week,” I remind her, surprised that I even know this.
“And wedding season is in full swing.” She smiles up at me. “I’ve got one wedding this weekend, but next weekend is going to be insane, what with the two weddings and a 40th anniversary party.”
“About that.” I stop walking and so does she. “You’re coming to my parents’ party, right?”
“Oh. I didn’t think I was invited.” She blinks those big brown eyes up at me, and I’m tempted to devour her where she stands.