“Jordan.” My name falls from her lips, encouraging me to go faster. She sounds lost. Overcome. I watch her, unable to look away as I continue to fuck her. Her eyes are closed, a little whimper falling from her lips every time I thrust. I remove my hand from the back of her head and touch her cheek. Her mouth. Her lips part, sucking my fingers in between them, and her eyes pop open.
Emotions swamp me at the glow in her eyes, and I’m tempted to say something. Those words. Three of them. So simple, yet they would change everything.
And I’m not sure if I can say them yet.
I’ve never been one to say them. In my house, love wasn’t something given easily. My dad was never around. If he wasn’t working himself to death, he was out with one of his many mistresses. Mom was too worried over where her husband was, what others thought of her. Too wrapped up in her own problems, she didn’t have time for me.
No one ever really did.
With Amanda, I finally understood what real love was. Until she left me too.
Her abandonment reminded me that love was a joke. Something I could never count on.
So yeah. I’m not going to tell her I love her.
She’ll have to say those words first.
I slept like the dead once Jordan left the hotel to go to practice. The plane ride, the taxi ride, the shower, the sex, the orgasm, it all had a mind-numbing effect on me, and the moment my head hit the pillow, I was out.
Not sure how long I slept, but when my eyes blink open, I can tell it was nighttime. The hotel room is dark, the curtains still parted, so I can see the lights from the city just outside the window. I sit up, push my wild hair away from my face. Glance down to see I’m wearing Jordan’s red Niners T-shirt.
Huh. I don’t remember putting that on.
My phone sits on the bedside table, plugged into its charger. Funny, I also don’t remember pulling my charger out of my purse. Jordan must’ve done that for me.
I start to smile when I think of him. Always taking care of me. That’s just his way.
Glancing around, I look for any sign of him, but he’s not in this room. I just know. His presence radiates, and I gravitate toward him like he’s the sun and I’m this bumbling planet lost in space.
But where could he be?
I grab my phone and check it for notifications. I have four texts and two missed calls from Jordan, plus a voicemail notification.
You awake? Team is going to dinner, wanted you to join me.
Mandy? You must be still sleeping.
I’ll bring you back something to eat. This restaurant is amazing.
Miss you.
It’s the final text I check my voicemail next.
You’re sleeping. I know you were tired. That’s why I left you alone and didn’t wake you up when I came back to the room. But I wish you were here with me. Cannon wishes you were too.
In the background, I hear Cannon making fun of Jordan for telling me that. I can even hear Cannon making exaggerated kissy noises.
Anyway, I’ll be back in the room soon. In about an hour or so. Hopefully you’ll be awake by then.
The voicemail ends.
A sigh escapes me and I listen to the voicemail again. His voice is deep. Low. Intimate. Warmth spreads through me at hearing it. There’s emotion there, just beneath the surface. When we had sex earlier in the shower, he’d been so tender with me. So sweet. And when he came inside me…
I drop the phone, blinking in shock. Yeah. He came inside me. I felt it. As in, he didn’t wear a condom.
And I’m not on the pill.
I fall back onto the bed, my head sinking into the pillow as I stare up at the ceiling. Shit, shit, shit! I didn’t even think of asking him to put on a condom. He didn’t think of it either. We both messed up with this one.