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It’s almost reassuring to hear her say exactly what I was thinking. “I know, and it scares me. Getting back together with Jordan…scares me a lot.”

As soon as I confess this, the relief that hits me is almost staggering. It feels so good, admitting my secret emotions to my friend.

Lena sits up straighter, her expression determined. “So. Is it a good fear or bad fear?”

She’s totally confusing me. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, does the thought of getting back together with Jordan make you feel…afraid? Like in a dark and foreboding way? Or is it more the fear of the unknown.”

Jordan has never scared me in a dark or foreboding way. I always felt safe with Jordan. Now, not so much, only because of the uncertainty of everything that’s happening between us. I know him, but I don’t. I understand him, yet I don’t.

Confusing, right? I make no sense. My emotions are a mixed-up jumble of insecure teenage Amanda and confident, grown-up Amanda.

“It’s the unknown,” I admit. “It could be great, but what if I mess it up again?” Or he could mess it up this time around.

“The only way you’ll know is if you try.” Lena reaches out and grabs my hand, giving it a little squeeze. “Would you rather try one more time? Or have a lifetime of regret?”

“Well, when you put it like that…” My voice drifts and I start to laugh, squeezing her hand in return. “I don’t like regret.”

“Then I guess we know your answer then.” She smiles.

I swallow hard, ignoring the way my stomach flutters with nerves.

I guess we do know my answer.

My phone rings at exactly seven o’clock, which is when Jordan said he’d call—though he didn’t tell me it would be a FaceTime call. Thank goodness I still look decent and I already changed out of the work polo.

I hit answer and wait eagerly f

or his face to fill my screen.

My breath catches when he’s finally there, a little smile curling his lips when we make eye contact. “Hey,” he says in that easygoing way of his. Like it’s no big deal that we’re talking like this. That the last time I saw him, we made out and I ended up coming all over his jeans.

Seriously, I need to get over my embarrassment. We’re trying to make this work. I have every right to basically hump Jordan and have an orgasm.

“Hi,” I say, trying to keep it together. “How are you?”

“I’m good,” he says, leaning back against a headboard. Guess he’s sprawled out on the bed in his hotel room. I wish I was with him. “Tired.”

“Time change messing you up?”

“Kind of.” He hides a yawn, and it hits me how much I miss him. Silly, considering how long we haven’t been in each other’s lives. I spend a few days with him, and now it isn’t enough. “How are you?”

“Good. It was a crazy day.” I already decided I won’t tell him about my earlier argument with Cade. No need to fire Jordan up over nothing.

“Listen, I’m going to cut right to the chase.” His expression is grim and worry makes my heart start pounding. “I don’t think you should come to Florida.”

“Oh.” My voice is small. My heart is sinking. “Okay.”

“Don’t get all butt hurt.” His voice is teasing, that smile coming back. “I have a better idea.”

Curiosity fills me. “What’s your better idea?”

“Do you have a passport?”

“Um, yeah. Got one two years ago when I went with friends to Mexico for a few days.”

“Perfect. That should work then.” He’s got this far away look on his face. Almost like he’s talking to himself.


Tags: Monica Murphy Forever Yours Romance