She turns me into a greedy dick.
The look on Amanda’s face tells me she didn’t think I’d really show up, and I’m blown away. Does she really lack that much faith in me? “But you’re early.”
“Only by a few minutes.” I take a step toward her, my gaze roaming, taking her in. She looks…frazzled. Tired. Her hair is pulled into a low ponytail today, and hangs bone-straight down her back. She’s got faint dark smudges under her eyes and her polo shirt is halfway untucked from her black pants. “Are you ready to go?”
“Um.” She glances over at the receptionist, who is watching us like we’re a live-action movie playing out right in front of her. “Give me a minute.”
The moment she’s gone, the receptionist is sighing loudly, her lips curled into a smug smile. “Are you the one who sent her the flowers?”
I ignore her question. “You saw the flowers?”
“I’m the one who signed for them.” Another sigh, this one softer. “They were pretty hard to miss. Such a romantic gesture.”
Impulsive gesture, I want to tell her, but I keep my mouth shut. I don’t even know this woman. Why tell her something personal? She’d probably sell the story to TMZ or whatever the hell gossip site is hot at the moment. For all I know she’s covertly taking photos of me with her phone. I wouldn’t put it past her. Shit, I wouldn’t half blame her either.
Being grateful for success is one thing, but it’s hard to celebrate the good times when you don’t have many people in your life you can trust. This is why I’m glad Cannon and I are on the same team. I know that guy. He’s my friend. He knew me before everything blew up and I became an actual celebrity.
Life is strange sometimes, isn’t it?
Maybe that’s why I’m drawn to Amanda too. We have so much history together. After seeing her last night, I couldn’t stop replaying everything we said to each other. What was I thinking, telling her she had to make the next move? No surprise that I caved like I always do when it comes to her.
If I’m being real with myself, I have no idea what I’m doing right now, or why exactly I’m doing it, but I’m trying to just go with my impulses and see where they take me.
Even if I might end up getting hurt in the end.
“What the shit, Amanda? Jordan Tuttle is out there waiting for you!” Lena is hopping up and down, all of her earlier anger with me gone.
Her reaction is totally annoying. She gave me grief only a couple hours ago and implied I’m a heartless bitch who toyed with Cade’s emotions, and now she’s freaking out because Mr. Superstar Tuttle is in the lobby waiting for me.
“I told you he was my ex.” I grab the flowers and hold them close, surprised at how heavy they are. I look terrible after a long and emotionally exhausting day, but Jordan didn’t seem to mind. His actions made me realize I miss the way he always looked at me.
Like I was his absolute favorite thing.
“He sent you the flowers, huh?” I nod and she exhales loudly. “Very sweet.”
“Right.” Okay, now I’m pissed. “Only a few hours ago you told me I was awful for leading Cade on.”
Her mouth pops open. “I—”
“And now that you know it was Jordan Tuttle who sent the flowers, you’re fine with it.” I shake my head and start to walk past her, disappointment taking over my anger. “That’s not very cool, Lena.”
Lena grabs my arm, stopping me. “You’re right,” she says softly, her hand dropping away from my elbow. “I’m sorry. I just—I didn’t know what was going on, and it looked bad, you know? I thought you were totally playing Cade.”
Now is not the right time to remember—or admit—that I used Cade by inviting him to take me to that game. I don’t know if I can ever admit that to Lena, though I should. “He’s just a friend,” I remind her.
I need to tell Cade that, though. Be honest with him.
“And is Jordan Tuttle just a friend?” She raises a brow. “Because if he is, what a very hot and famous friend you have.”
Just like that, we both start to laugh.
Here’s the deal. I don’t like being mad at people. My mother says I’m too forgiving. That I let people take advantage of me, that I let them walk all over me. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become better at not allowing someone to take advantage of me, but in turn, that can cause people to keep their distance. And sometimes, that leaves a person lonely, you know? This is why I’ve always been so thankful for Lena. Our friendship has never been distant. She’s warm and fun and open, and I try to be the same to her.
“I’m sorry too,” I say once our laughter stops. I’d hug her, but I’ve got my arms wrapped around the giant vase. “I really had no idea you liked Cade.”
“That’s my own fault. I never told you.” She smiles, her eyes twinkling, and I know we’re good now. “Are you going on a date with Jordan Tuttle tonight?”
I shrug, purposefully nonchalant. “Just dinner.”