No! No, be strong, don’t fall for it. Don’t fall into his trap. He doesn’t care about you.
Actions speak louder than words, my brain says. Ugh, my heart and my mind want two different things. He called me a liar after I confessed to him the truth. Maybe he didn’t fully believe me, but he could’ve asked, he could’ve come to me if he had questions.
But he didn’t, he believed his father…
Tears fill my eyes. Feeling the need to do something, anything, I open my laptop and prepare to finish my English paper. But as soon as I click on the Word document, a new page opens. What the hell? Anger replaces the slightest bit of remorse I was just feeling. I check the trash icon and all the folders inside my homework file.
There’s nothing… not a single thing.
He didn’t. I stare at the screen. My eyes piercing the screen, willing the document that’s no longer there, that I spent hours typing up to reappear. All the work is gone, disappeared, missing… the proof is right in front of me and I still don’t want to believe it.
He did this, he deleted it all. Tears slip from my eyes, and I wipe them away as fast as they fall. I can’t cry for him anymore. He’s done so many things to hurt me, break me, and crying even one more tear for him isn’t right. It’s wrong, so wrong. He doesn’t deserve my tears, my pain, my sadness. He deserves nothing… I’ll never forgive him for hurting me like this.
Never.
Chapter Twenty
Vance
Clark better be right about her showing up here tonight, or else I’m going to be using my fists to rearrange his face. Not really, but I’m feeling a little on edge with all the shit going on, so a fight wouldn’t be a bad idea. Bloodying someone’s face seems like fun right about now. My life is starting to feel like an atomic bomb that’s waiting to go off.
Tick tock. Tick tock.
An explosion is coming, and I need to be ready for it, but I also need to make shit right with Ava. Never in my life have I tried more for a girl, but then again, Ava isn’t just any girl, she is the girl.
Ava has been avoiding me at all cost. She told me through her mother that if I come in or near her room, she will move out immediately. I tried to ‘run into her’ at school, but she somehow managed to outsmart me. I haven’t seen her in days and it’s fucking killing me.
Shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans, I walk down the sidewalk, a nervous energy encompassing me. Will she talk to me? Push me away? Slap me? The way she acted toward me earlier, it killed me. She ripped my heart out and fed it to me like I was a fucking dog. I thought maybe, just maybe telling her I loved her would change things, but it didn’t. It only ignited the hate inside of her.
Not that she shouldn’t hate me. I’m man enough to know I fucked up. I can admit that to myself, to her, but all I want is to make things right. There’s a sign up ahead in the shape of a pizza slice, flashing brightly into the night.
Slice It is written across the piece. I slow, exhaling all the bad energy out of me. If she’s here, then I’ll owe Clark big time. If she’s not, then I’ll lose my fucking mind and bury myself in another bottle of Jack Daniels. As I pass the huge glass window while walking to the door, I gaze through it looking for her.
There are three or four ladies in the place with dark brown hair, but they aren’t her. My hands balled into fists in my pocket. I’m seconds away from breaking something when I catch sight of her and Clark in a corner booth off to the right. Mousy brown hair, pretty green emerald eyes that sparkle with happiness that I can see, feel from here.
She’s laughing at something Clark says and this strange thing happens as I stand there like an outsider watching them. He deserves her. He’s what she needs. I have no idea where the thought comes from, but it terrifies me, because deep down, I know it’s true. I don’t deserve her. She deserves better, someone that’s not a loose cannon with a shitload of baggage.
For a split second, I actually consider walking away when I notice Clark leaning into her face. Lust fills his eyes, and something snaps inside me.
He’ll never love her, not like I do. Maybe I don’t deserve her, but neither does he. He’s incapable of love. Unlovable as he says. The courage builds and I open the door, walking inside, the smell of tomato sauce and freshly grated cheese fills my nostrils.