With my heart in my stomach, I look at her one last time, vowing to do whatever I can to make this right. I won’t stop, not until I’ve righted every one of my wrongs.
“I can’t take the words back, Ava. I love you. I loved you for a while, I know you won’t believe me, but I knew it the moment I kissed you. I felt it deep in my soul. I’ve hurt you, fucked up beyond measure but I’ll fix this. I swear to you I’ll make this right, or I’ll die trying.”
“Go find Sarah or someone else that gives a fuck.” She sobs, and my heart shatters into a million pieces.
“I don’t want anyone but you. Only you,” I whisper, closing the door after I exit it.
Chapter Nineteen
Ava
“Ava!” Clark’s voice carries through the trees as he calls out to me. Ignoring him, hoping he’ll go away, I increase my pace to get away as fast as I can. All I want to do is go to classes, come home, and go to sleep. It’s been one week since my mental breakdown with Vance and it seems to be getting easier and easier every single day.
Heavy footfalls sound against the sidewalk behind me, and I sigh into the air knowing it’s a lost cause. Clark is faster and taller, so what’s the point in running. I slow to a walk, and he comes up from behind me, cutting me off with his body. Clark’s a big boy, tall, and breathtaking even, but he’s still an asshole, and he’s best friends with Vance, so that alone makes him the enemy. Crossing my arms over my chest, I stare at his firm chest with annoyance.
“If Vance put you up to this, you can tell him to fuck off.”
Clark is mid-stretch, the shirt he’s wearing riding up and showing off his well-defined physique. For one singular moment I’m distracted. Then my eyes catch on his face, a knowing grin forms on his lips.
“Checking me out?”
“In your dreams.”
“Yes Ava, in my dreams I dream of you… on your knees, between my…”
“Stop!” I slap his arm and he laughs.
“Vance didn’t put me up to this. I’m truly sorry and wanted to treat you to an excessive amount of carbs.”
I tilt my head as if it will tell me how genuine he’s being. “Why do I feel like you’re lying to me?”
He shakes his head, a few of the longer strands of dark brown hair fall into his face. He needs a haircut, and to leave me the hell alone.
“I don’t know, but I’m not.” His tongue darts out over his bottom lip, and he turns on that smoldering look that makes all the women’s panties go poof. He reminds me of Vance so much that it’s almost sickening and I’m done with being everyone’s punching bag. Done with being treated like shit.
“I’ll pass. I don’t have room for self-absorbed assholes in my life.” I shoulder past him and continue walking, but being the persistent asshole he is, he continues to follow me.
“Look, I’m sorry. I was only being a friend to him. He told me you lied to him. How was I supposed to know what the hell was going on?”
“Maybe ask me?” I yell, louder than necessary, drawing the attention of a few lingering bystanders. Clark cuts in front of me again and I almost run into him, stopping a foot short of actually doing so.
Clenching my hand into a fist, I feel this sudden urge to punch him in the face. I’m tired of being shoved around, of being mocked, and called a liar. I don’t want their apologies… I want their silence. I want peace.
“Just, let me apologize. Let me take you to have pizza. Remember how much fun we had last time?” Clark smirks that panty-melting smile of his and I hate myself for recalling the laughter, and fun we had, because truly we did have a great time that night, and as friends only.
Which is something I know he doesn’t do with anyone that’s a female. Stupidly, I care about Clark, but not in the way one would think. He’s more of a little brother to me, an annoying, rude, cocky little brother.
“Don’t make me beg. I will drop down to my knees in front of everyone. I don’t care if it makes a scene, I’ll do it.”
I can feel my cheeks heating with embarrassment at the thought. Clark’s all about making a scene and I know he’ll do it.
“No!” I say in a panic, wrapping a hand around his wrist when he makes an attempt to drop down to his knees. “Jesus, no. Don’t draw any more attention to us. You standing here talking to me draws enough attention as it is.”
“That sounds like a compliment, A.” He wiggles his thick eyebrows.