“I probably shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, I don’t mind that. I just—I don’t talk about it much because it brings me down. I was stupid. I let my ego get in the way and almost cost myself my life.” He shakes his head, his gaze finding mine. “I’ve made some mistakes.”
“You’ll keep making them too,” I remind him.
He chuckles. “Nothing like keeping it real, huh?”
“I’m just being honest.” I shrug.
Perry’s quiet again, and am I too. I enjoy the walk. The salty scent of the ocean mixed with the sweet smell of the tropical flowers growing nearby. In the near distance I hear laughter. Someone having a good time, enjoying their vacation while I’m slowly but surely filling with impending doom.
Our trip is almost over and we’re back to reality. To secrets and lies and Seamus lurking around. The distrust from my husband and his family. The lack of support from mine.
What will I do when we go home? Camp out in that apartment my parents gave us and hang out with Jasper and Doja? Is that all I’ll ever amount to? Would Perry mind if I tried to go to college or would he think I’ll try and have an affair with another professor?
The idea of that hurts. More than I care to admit.
“Maybe I am wiped,” Perry finally says as we draw closer to the villa.
My hopes for an adventurous night with Perry come crashing down around me. “You didn’t get much sleep last night.”
“I got none. Plus, I still need to pack before we leave in the morning.”
“I do too,” I admit.
We slowly walk up the front steps, our hands still linked until Perry reaches for the key card in his pants pocket. He unlocks the door and we enter the villa, turning toward each other when the door shuts.
“Thank you for sharing that story with me,” I say, wanting him to know how much it meant to me, even though hearing the details made my heart hurt.
“Thanks for listening. I’ve never told anyone what happened that night before,” he confesses.
I’m shocked. “No one?”
He shakes his head.
“Not even your mother?”
“Oh hell no, I could never tell her. She’d flip the fuck out.” He smiles, and then it’s gone. Scrubbed away by the hand he runs over his mouth. “I’m gonna crash out in my room.”
Disappointment fills me and I try to push it aside.
“Okay.” I follow him until we separate at the mouth of the hallway. His bedroom is on one end and mine is on the other. “Good night.”
He yanks me in for a quick hug, pressing his lips to my forehead before he lets me go. “Night, wife. Sleep tight.”
“You too.” I offer him a little smile and scurry down the hall and into my room, shutting the door with a quiet click, leaning against it.
I slowly bang the back of my head on the door, annoyed at myself. Why didn’t I suggest we spend the night together? Even if all we did was sleep, it would be a good way for us to get closer.
And that’s what this honeymoon did. It brought us closer. I understand him more now, and I hope he understands me. Though I blabbed all of my problems to him before we got married, so maybe he was beginning to understand me even then.
Yet he still went through with it. He married me.
Does he think I’m going to end things like I told him I would at the beginning of our bogus engagement? I meant what I said then. I couldn’t stand the thought of marrying a stranger and having to live with him, but when I spent a little time with Perry, I realized he wouldn’t be so bad. Better than living under the tyrannical rule of my father.
Though almost anyone is better than living with Reginald Lancaster.
Perry hasn’t brought my leaving up, but I hope he’s not counting on me doing that. I’m starting to think I don’t want to.