“Good.”
We’re silent for a moment, me absorbing what he said, about us being together, but then he says something else.
“I didn’t like the way he was looking at you, though,” Rhett adds.
A glimmer of hope shoots through me and I glance up once more to find Rhett staring at me. “How was he looking at me?”
“Like he remembered the way you look naked.”
Okay. He’s not as indifferent as I thought he was. “He did try to reminisce with me about old times.”
“I bet he did,” Rhett muttered, shaking his head. “Look, you want to know what really bothers me? Not that you have old boyfriends, or that one of those old boyfriends just ran into you and acted like he wished he had X-ray vision. No, what really bothers me is that you have a past, you have a life, and you barely let me in it. You rarely talk about yourself, if ever.”
I lean back in my chair, surprised at the emotion I hear in Rhett’s voice. “I’ve told you some stuff—” I start, but he cuts me off with a firm shake of his head.
“You’ve barely told me anything, Jens. And why did he seem so surprised by your name anyway, huh? He called you Jenny. I don’t get it.”
My stomach sinks as we stare at each other.
How am I
going to explain this?
Tell him the truth.
Standing up straighter, I look him square in the eye. I know what I have to do.
He deserves to know who I really am.
Rhett
I watch her closely, remembering what my roommate Chad said about her name, and how he thought it might be phony. That strippers have fake names all the time. Not that Jensen is a stripper, but…she worked at a strip club, so close enough.
With a sigh she pushes away her still-uneaten sandwich, her gaze dropping to the table. “I changed my name.”
I’m surprised, yet not, by her revelation. “Why?”
“After my dad died, I wanted to escape. To, I don’t know, renew myself? I didn’t want to live with that old name, which I never really liked anyway.”
“What’s your actual name?” I ask.
“Jennifer,” she admits, her voice soft. A little laugh escapes her, but it doesn’t hold an ounce of humor. “I say the name and it means nothing to me. Weird, right?”
“I guess.” I hesitate, not sure what to say next, or how to approach this. I decide to just go for it. “You know, you’ve never even told me your last name.”
Her eyes go wide. “I haven’t?”
“No.” I shake my head. “You’re just Jensen. Or Jens.”
“Oh. Well. My last name is—Fanelli.” She’s staring at the table again. “Though I’m considering changing that too.”
“Why?” That single word holds so much emotion, even I’m aware of it. I see the way she recoils from me, her eyes wide and full of mistrust. I need to correct myself before she thinks I’m being—her words—too judgey. “It’s just your name is your—identity, right? That’s who you are. That you can want to change it blows my mind.”
“It wasn’t an easy decision,” she admits through tight lips. “I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. My last name brings me nothing but awful memories. I just want to—move on from the past, you know?”
No. I don’t know. Why would she want to move on? I know her life wasn’t the best, but to change her name seems so drastic…
Does she want to forget her father? I know from what little she’s told me that their relationship wasn’t the best, but he was her father. And now he’s gone. She needs to hold onto something, right? It’s like she’s…