I open the folder and… the world falls away. What I find is exactly what she stated, but a part of me hoped maybe she was lying. As I stare down at the photos, I see that it’s me, half naked in a bed, it’s from the night Cole drugged me. The memories come rushing back to me and it’s hard to think about anything else. I close the folder and throw it on the table, my hands sinking into my hair. Why won’t the memories go away?
Him. The man who broke my heart, he sent the memories away, but without him, I am subjected to their memory, but with him, I am subjected to the memory of his heartache.
“Do you know who took these photos of you, Jules?”
“Yes,” I grit out, but don’t elaborate further. “I don’t want to talk about that night. Are we done?”
“Jules, we know this is hard for you, but there is another girl that has come forward.” She pauses briefly, her eyes moving between the detective and me. “You are not alone anymore, and your statement may just help other girls in the future.”
“Other girls?”
“Yes, someone has come forward, and accused Remington of raping her.”
Her accusation sends me reeling.
A rush of anger breaks through my barriers like a wave crashing against a cliff’s edge.
“You’re wrong. Remington would never do that. You’re wrongfully accusing him.” He disappointed and betrayed me in so many ways, but I know…I know in my heart that he wouldn’t do something like that.
Both Susan and the detective look at me with puzzled looks. “Jules, I heard the tape and I’ve seen the pictures…”
“Remington didn’t take those and what exactly do you think happened on that tape?” I try to think back to that night, another memory I have to dig out of my brain because I tried to bury every single memory, thought, and feeling when it comes to him. I know he said some crude things to me that night, but would it have sounded like he was raping me?
“It’s not really clear what happened from just the sound. Was the sex in it consensual? Don’t feel like you need to protect him, Jules.”
My nostrils flare, and I clench my fists. Why are they trying to get me to admit to something that never happened?
“There was no sex. He just…” I pause, not wanting to say it what really happened, but then I realize they’ve already heard the tape and the only way to clear this up is tell them the truth. “We didn’t have sex, he…he just made me come…with his finger and then he left.” My cheeks heat at my confession.
Susan nods without judgment, encouraging me to keep talking. “But what about that party? People saw you leave with Remington that night.”
I jump up from my seat, unable to stay in a sitting position any longer.
“I don’t want to talk about that night, okay?” I yell, unable to control the volume of my voice.
Susan gets up as well and takes a step toward me. Showing me her hands, palms up like she is trying to calm a wild animal. “
“Jules, you can tell us what happened. I know it’s hard, trust me I know, but this information might be crucial to the investigation into Remington. Whatever he did to you, he could’ve done to this other woman. Don’t you want to help us?”
Help them? Help them hurt him? I know the answer without even thinking.
“He didn’t do anything to hurt me, he saved me that night. I was being such an idiot, I had a bad feeling, but I pushed it away.”
After I say the first few words, the rest follow with ease, the word vomit just keeps coming, and I don’t even care to stop it.
“I didn’t know there was anything in the drink. I didn’t taste anything, and suddenly I felt so weird. Hot and cold all at once. I didn’t want to go with him, but he brought me to the bedroom, and then he started to take my clothes off. I asked him to stop, but he didn’t…I begged him to stop and when that didn’t work, I tried to push him off, but he was too strong.” My voice cracks at the end, my broken soul shattering a little bit more and I don’t even realize I’m crying until Susan hands me a tissue.
I swipe at my eyes and continue. “Remington came into the room and pulled Cole off of me, then he punched him.” I don’t think I should tell the cops that I thought he was going to kill him, so I leave that part out. The last thing Remington clearly needs right now is to find himself with an assault charge.
“Then he helped me get dressed and got me out of there. That’s all that happened that night.”