I. Fucking. Did. This.
I don’t even care. I want to forget…to live in pain, to let it own me. But Sebastian isn’t like everyone else, and he cares for Jules like her brother did, and so I know he won’t let me forget hurting her. He’ll protect her…make things right. He will do everything I should be doing right now.
“Why? Just fucking tell me why?” he growls, and I gaze up at him, tears leaking from my eyes.
“I was angry with her. I felt betrayed,” I croak. I know it’s a shitty reason, now looking back on it, my pain was nothing more than heartache, but it felt deeper like losing her was losing a piece of my soul. I had already lost my mother, so when Jules left, there was nothing left. I thought I was heartbroken back then, but the pain I’m feeling now is so much worse.
“Angry for what, Rem? Because her father got a job somewhere else and moved away? That’s your big fucking reason for doing all of this? She was fifteen, Rem, what the fuck was she supposed to do?”
A spark of fury ignites inside me, and somehow, I find my voice again.
“She wasn’t supposed to leave me!” I scream back at him. My skin heats, and my stomach rolls, bile rising into my throat. I’m disgusted with myself. And my emotions are out of fucking control. I didn’t even mean to yell at him, then again maybe I did. I want him to punch me again. I want him to hurt me for what I did to Jules. I don’t deserve anything else but the pain. I don’t even deserve to live. I don’t deserve shit…just pain, heartache, and death.
“You are the most selfish, self-absorbed person I have ever met in my entire life. You never deserved her, never. She loved you, and you destroyed her. You literally could’ve ripped her heart out of her chest, and it would have hurt less.”
He is right, I could’ve, and once again there is nothing for me to say. There are no words that can be said to take back what’s happened. A loud knock on the front door startles all of us.
My head snaps up and I realize that Thomas, Alan, and Kia are still standing only a few feet away from us all looking at my brother and me with the same expressions on their faces.
Guilt, shame, and complete shock. Their faces mirror how I’m feeling only I’m feeling it a million times more than them. They didn’t just lose the love of their life, their family, and their fucking life. To them it was a game, to me it was the biggest mistake
Thomas turns away from all of us and walks over to the front door. As soon as he opens the door, two guys from campus security walk in. Their eyes scan the room until they find me bloodied and beaten on the floor. They don’t even look shocked to see me like this, neither do they look concerned or sorry for me.
“Remington Miller, we need you to come with us.”
Sebastian drags me off the floor and into a standing position. I don’t even need to ask why they’re here. I’m sure the audio has made its way around campus by now, and into God knows whose hands. Walking on unsteady legs toward them, I try and shrug off my brother’s hand that’s digging into my arm, as if he thinks I would fucking run or something.
“I’m sure you know why we’re here,” one of the men speaks. Sebastian gives me a little shake and I lift my head, staring at him right in the eyes.
“Yes, I know why you’re here,” I answer, my vocal cords shattered.
“Good. You’re being brought in for questioning at this time. You’re not being detained or accused of any crimes,” the other man states and we walk out the front door. Sebastian practically dragging me down the walkway.
“I’ll drive him in since I have to be there during questioning anyway,” Sebastian announces, and they give him a curt nod. He releases me and we walk to his SUV. I open the door and force myself to get in. I don’t even have the door closed and he starts the car, pulling away from the curb while following the campus security officers.
“I can’t get you out of this mess, not that I would if I could. You’ve dug yourself a deep hole, deeper than money can buy.”
“I know.” I stare out the window.
“You know?” Disgust coats his words. “You don’t fucking know. You have no idea what this is going to do to Jules. She will never want to show her face here again. Once again, she has to find another school, another place to live.”
Everything starts to sink in…his confession slashes against my skin. She won’t come back to school here, in fact, she’ll leave, all over again, and this time it will be my fault, my fucking fault.