“Yeah, right,” she scoffs. “Because he was in here a really long time, and you’re missing a lot of clothes for someone who didn’t just get laid. I really thought better of you, I guess I was wrong.” She turns around and leaves and for a second time tonight, my door is slammed shut.
I sag back down onto my mattress, feeling as if I’ll never do anything right again. Remington is out to break my heart all over again and Cally thinks I betrayed her.
I shake my head, thinking of my brother and father at that moment. I wish Jackson was still alive. He would give me the advice I need, he would kick Remington’s ass for acting the way he is. But he’s gone and so is my father, and with nowhere else to turn, I do the only thing I can do…I cry.
Chapter Five
Remington
I speed-walk across campus, even though my heart is racing as if I’m running at full speed. My mind reeling, my thoughts in complete disarray.
What the fuck just happened?
I don’t understand. I was there to teach her a lesson, to hurt her, to rip her heart out like she ripped out mine. Everything I did, everything I said to her, was supposed to lead to her hating me as much as I hate her. I wanted to see the same pain in her eyes that I’m feeling…that I feel every single time, I look at her. Instead she looked at me with pity and regret.
Then she kissed me, fucking kissed me.
And the worst part of all…I kissed her back.
I fucking kissed her. I haven’t kissed anyone in three years. I can’t count how many girls I’ve fucked in that time, but I have never kissed a single one of them. Kissing is too personal, it’s what people do when they want to get close, remember the person and if there is one thing I don’t want to do with anyone, it is to get close…and especially not with her, not again.
Why the fuck did I kiss her back?
I hate her, don’t I? My brain tells me I do, but my heart tells me different. My heart tells me I’m angry, confused… but not that I hate her. I lick my lips, her taste still lingering there. My mind wants to scrub that taste from my mouth, while my body wants to revel in it. My thoughts are cluttered with images of her and I need to clear my fucking head and get her out of my mind once and for all.
I try and think about anything but her lips, her eyes piercing mine, the way her pussy clenched around my fingers so tight I thought I was going to die. I crossed a line, one I never crossed with any woman before tonight. I never forced myself on someone, not that I really had to force myself on Jules, it was clear she was more than interested in me, it just was the way I went about it, taking from her, using her body without permission.
It was wrong. It was right. It was fucked up.
As much as I wanted to hurt her, there was no way I could’ve fucked her without her permission. I wanted to hurt her, rip her heart out, but I didn’t want to commit a crime to do it. I liked my women willing, but she didn’t have to know that, she could’ve been thinking I was going to do it the whole time, and she probably was, up until she flipped over and looked into my eyes. She always had the power to see right through me.
Fuck. I fist my hair in my hands in frustration, pulling tightly at the locks wishing they could give me the answers I need. Why can’t she just go away? Her memory haunts me and now she’s more than a memory, she’s here, right under my nose ruining me all over again.
I pull out my cell, the group chat with all the guys pops up telling me I have over twenty missed notifications, but I don’t care. The bet is the last thing going through my mind right now. I want to win, but I’m concerned about the effect that Jules has on me, and I need to get that shit in order before I even try and fuck her.
The thought of fucking her turns my cock to steel. I’ve wanted her since we were teenagers, and I could’ve had her so many times over. I wanted her to be my first, my last, my always. I grit my teeth. I need to find a way to forget her, to forget her memory. I’ve tried everything over the years – pussy, beer, weed. Nothing has ever dislodged her from my mind.
Focusing my attention on my phone, I find Cally’s name and shoot her a text. I know she’s not my bet, but finding out she was Jules’ roommate only added to the fun. Now I have an in, into Jules’ life, into making her as miserable as possible. I ask Cally to meet me at the diner for breakfast tomorrow and to no surprise she replies right away, telling me she would love to.