“Nope. If you look at William, he’s not interested in the woman. Besides, how else are other people supposed to learn? I trust my husband. I know it’s me that he wants, no one else.”
Isabel paused as she was chewing her popcorn. She felt that way about Edward, even though neither of them had really spoken about their feelings. It didn’t matter as it was what they both felt.
Finishing off her mouthful of popcorn, she swallowed down the lump inside her throat.
“Are you okay? You’ve gone a little pale.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I’m going to go and have some fresh air. It’s probably what I need.” She handed the popcorn to Daisy and left the room.
She didn’t understand what was wrong. Rubbing at her chest, she rushed toward the exit, and the moment she cleared the door, she took some deep breaths.
“You’re a waste of time. Good for nothing.”
“Why do we even bother relying on you?”
“You’re thick. You’re stupid.”
“Fucking asshole.”
“Why don’t you just grow up?”
Isabel started to pant as the blood filled her head. She hadn’t felt this in over a month. It was such an overwhelming need. Rushing toward the edge of the forest, she gripped onto the first tree she found, and rested her head on the hard bark.
/> “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.” The last one she screamed. She knew what she wanted, and she couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to do it.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” Edward asked.
She closed her eyes and shook her head against the tree, ignoring the scratch as it dug in.
“It’s happening?” he asked.
Isabel didn’t need for him to explain. It was easy for herself to know what he was talking about.
“Please, just…”
“I’m not going anywhere. You should know that by now. Tell me what happened. What set it off?”
“Nothing.”
“You want it, don’t you? You want your kit, and you want to find a nice secluded spot, and you want to take that blade, dig it into your skin, and slice.”
With her eyes still closed she released a whimper. Yes, damn it. She did. Sweat gathered on her brow, and her stomach was starting to turn. Every time this happened, she would do exactly as he just said.
There was no real routine. It was why she always carried her kit on her. If it was there, she knew she could rely on it. Her special kit that helped above everything else.
Tell him.
Fight this.
With her eyes still closed, she started to speak, only to stop and clear her throat. She was shaking all over. Never had she fought this need so bad. It felt almost like an addiction, something she couldn’t control. It wasn’t the need to slice though. No, it was the need to rid her mind of the voices.
“Daisy.”
“What did she say? What did she do?”
“She didn’t say anything mean, or malicious. It was … it’s me. I’m the stupid one. I’m the one that can’t deal. I’m fucking useless.”
“I have never heard you say such utter rubbish about yourself.”