“I’m going to want that kit.”
Her hands were shaking and she tried to take them back, but Edward kept hold of her arms, keeping her in place. In a weird kind of way, she felt grounded, like someone was holding her completely.
“Why?”
“There is going to have to be a level of trust built up. You want to be my submissive, then there are certain demands that I have. The first one is that you don’t harm yourself, and that whenever you feel the need, you come to me.
”
She had never relied on anyone.
There was no one in her world that could help her.
“I’m alone.”
“No! You’re not alone. Isabel, look at me, baby.”
She found herself staring into his green eyes, being utterly captivated by him.
“You’re never alone. I promise.”
“Will you start removing other objects now from the house? The knives in the kitchen?” she asked.
He shook his head. “This is about trust. If you cannot trust me with this, then I cannot trust you as my submissive. It’s as simple as that.”
She took several deep breaths. Be his or keep the cutting.
“There’s no way for me to change your mind?”
“I’m not asking for a lot, sweetie.”
You are!
“If I give you what you want, then what do I get?” she asked.
“You get me. Completely. We will go to Control together. I will explore everything with you.” The hold on her hands had lightened, and when she glanced down, she saw him stroking her wrist.
It was nice. More than nice. He stroked the tips of his fingers down hers and then grasped her. “I need you to realize that I’m the person you can rely on, Isabel. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here in Cape Falls to stay.”
“What if I need you and you’re not there?”
“I’ll be a phone call away, and as my submissive you will follow instruction. I’ve never taken you to my dungeon other than to strap you up the other day. Once we have finished our lunch, I will give you a proper experience within my playroom. No games, pleasure will certainly come, as will pain. Do you like pain?” he asked.
“I don’t know.”
She knew she didn’t mind pain as the feel of the knife sinking into her flesh was a welcome relief. There was always that point where it hurt too much, and she stopped. This had never been a problem before. The cutting gave her a relief that had never given her time to really analyze what she liked about it. It was the control, the feeling of being able to do something no one else could. Being punished by Edward would be different? Could she handle that kind of pain?
“So, are you in or not?” Edward asked. “If you’re not, then nothing changes. We go back to living the way we have. Your job at the club is still there, but you have to go to the hospital, or see someone, Isabel.”
“I don’t need to talk to someone.”
“I will make sure that you do.”
Did she really want to go back to that way of life?
He had been sweet, charming, and she had loved every second of his company, but she had always wanted more. To a point, she found herself feeling greedy. She wanted him so badly. She didn’t want to go back to what she did. The cutting, it didn’t help anything, not really. Even as she understood it, she couldn’t help the feeling that she needed it.
“I’m in.”