Chapter One
Present day
Neil drew lazy circles on his notebook while his boss kept on bitching about the team not being able to meet the sales target for the second consecutive month that year. A glance at the clock told him Gordon had been droning on for nearly an hour. An hour of his life wasted, when he could be elsewhere with someone who gave a damn. Too bad the only man he loved and wanted to be with never wanted to see his face.
At thirty-four, ten years after graduating from college and his awful parting with Rob, Neil still had not gotten over the incident. Taking a boyfriend, moving forward to better his life, never crossed his mind. He might have attained one part of his dream, becoming the marketing manager for a multi-national company, but what use was success if he couldn’t share it with anyone else?
His phone vibrated in his pocket. With nothing better to do, Neil fished it out. Seeing who the message was from, he nearly dropped the phone but managed to catch it at the last second. Four words flashed across the screen, enough to make him forget about the agonizing years of silence away from Rob.
Rob: I need you, brother.
Another message appeared on the heels of the first. A fucking miracle considering Neil hadn’t heard anything from him for half a decade.
Rob: Mom’s dead.
This news didn’t bother him as much as those four little words had. The fucker knew how deeply they would affect Neil. All Rob had to do was open his mouth, utter that sentence, and Neil would come running.
We aren’t children anymore, Rob.
It served Rob right if Neil didn’t come, much less typed a response. A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye and Rob had done all the hurting, but his one weakness had always been his step-brother.
Hands suddenly clammy, Rob wasn’t aware of the phone slipping from his fingers and clattering onto the hardwood floors until his colleagues gave him strange looks.
“Mr. Lovell, do you have anything meaningful to add to this meeting?”
Neil rose from his seat, calmly picked up his phone, and looked at his boss in the eye. “I just learned my mother has died. Sorry, I need some air.”
This would be a classic Rob move, lying through his teeth like this, but Neil had also learned some tricks along the way.
“Of course,” Gordon murmured, guilt filling his features. “Take all the time you need.”
Exiting the meeting room, Neil didn’t meet anyone’s eyes. If he hurried out of the office now, he could avoid rush hour. In four hours, he would arrive back at the starting point, at his hometown of Lily Valley.
Loosening his tie, Neil let his body do the necessary motions—submitting his emergency leave to the HR department and heading right to his car. Not bothering to dress or pack, he started the engine and programmed the GPS to his hometown.
It was crazy of him to do this and to not consider his other options, but when it came to Rob, logic flew out the window. Nothing made sense. Instinct drove him, defined him when it came to this man.
“Fuck, I barely know you anymore,” Neil whispered.
Rob might have cut him off, but Neil refused to let go. Erasing any trace of Rob meant ripping out bits and pieces of his soul and he couldn’t have that. Dare he admit it? He had stalked Rob with ruthless tenacity. Created pseudonyms online to follow all of Rob’s social media accounts and he even hired a private investigator to check that Rob wasn’t in trouble.
Through reports and pictures his step-brother posted online, Neil still felt like he knew him, at least on the surface-level. No, that wasn’t true. Underneath his adult self, Rob’s childhood self had lingered and Neil knew that side best. They’d created a thousand memories together and survived numerous battles with matching wounds to prove it.
“You’ve done it, Rob. You’ve asked for my help, but this time, you can’t send me away. I’m here to stay, whether you like it or not.”
Clarissa’s death had hit Rob hard and Neil knew it. Although the witch treated Rob differently, coldly and unfairly after the accident, Rob had stuck by her through thick and thin. Neil’s mistake had been asking Rob to choose because his step-brother picked her in the end.
The feeling of betrayal and hurt never really went away. Neil swore to himself he’d never forgive Rob, even when the man came crawling back to him. Look what had just happened. Four words had been enough to undo him.
Neil didn’t bother replying to Rob’s text. Rob knew him all too well. The bastard knew he’d drop everything to be with the one man whose eyes reflected a soul so similar to his.
****
Long after the mourners and well-wishers gave their false words of consolation, Rob stayed. He stared at the newly erected gravestone of his mother, decorated with lilies—her favorite and the one flower Rob was allergic to. Nose stinging, he kept his distance, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his coat.
His legs began to stiffen and he tasted the first droplets of rain on his lips, but he didn’t move a muscle. No one could deny he’d played his role of faithful son to the hilt. To distract himself from the jarring truth of her death, he’d made a check list in his head.
Rob made all the necessary arrangements. He’d picked the coffin she specified, dug out the address of the retired Catholic priest she wanted to preside over her funeral, and invited everyone on her guest list.