No, they were making her feel a lot of other things. Things that she hadn’t thought were possible for her. “I just need to use the bathroom.” Before they could stop her, she was on her feet, heading toward the bathroom inside the clubhouse. On her way into the bathroom, she bumped into Suzy. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. A pregnancy hazard nowadays. It seems that you need to go and pee every ten seconds.” Suzy stroked her stomach, and then
frowned when she looked at her. “Are you okay?”
Skylar nodded even as she was freaking out.
“You don’t look okay.”
“Because I’m not. I’m kind of scared,” she said, admitting the truth.
Suzy closed the door, and turned toward her. “What’s wrong?”
“I think I’m in love with Paul and Leo, and I’m freaking out about it because … I can’t be.” She ran fingers through her hair. “I’ve never been in love before, and I don’t know what love is.” Her heart was pounding. “What if they don’t feel the same? Of course they don’t feel the same, right? It’s me, and I’m just a crazy person who can’t sit down because for years I wasn’t allowed to, and now I’m telling you, a total stranger who I don’t know, and yeah, I think I’m having a panic attack, and struggling to breathe.” She pressed a hand to her chest, trying to inhale and exhale.
“Okay, I think we need to calm down,” Suzy said, moving toward her. “We need to take this easy and just breathe. In and out, and calm, and in and out, and calm. Relax. You’re in a safe place, in a safe zone.”
She copied Suzy’s methods, breathing in and out and staying calm. After a couple of minutes, she stared at Suzy’s smiling face.
“Feel better?”
“Yes, much better.”
“I had a freak out when I realized that I loved Pixie and all the time he was trying to knock me up so I wouldn’t leave him because I knew what a total douchebag he is. I don’t know Leo and Paul all that well, but I’m not blind. I see the way they look at you, and they adore you.” Suzy ran her hands up and down her arms.
“I’m so sorry,” Skylar said.
“Don’t need to be sorry. Realizing you love someone is really hard to grasp. You’ve got two men falling for you. It will take some time getting used to. Don’t you just love this club though?”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re always so together. I mean, they fight a lot, and are always picking on some of their faults and stuff, but at the core, they’re a bunch of brothers just trying to make it work.” Suzy smiled. “I’m proud to be an old lady to one of the Dirty Fuckers.”
Skylar knew if she ever got the chance to be one, she would as well.
Chapter Twelve
Finally, it was a Friday night, the sun was going down, and they had arrived in Vegas fit and well. Leo looked around at the luxury hotel room that overlooked the strip, which he had paid a small fortune to be in.
“This is crazy,” Skylar said, standing at the window. He moved up behind her as Paul paid for the service for their bags to be brought up.
“It’s beautiful, huh?”
“Beautiful and really busy. I think I can almost feel people losing money left, right, and center,” she said.
“It’s always a party down there, that is for sure. The high life never seems to stop, not even for a moment. There are a lot of people who think they will miss something if they don’t stop,” Leo said.
“Is that why you left? You got tired of it all. Sucked down?”
“What Leo is not telling you is that for a long time we were both drawn to this world, a lot more than we thought we would be. Everywhere we went, there was a new adventure or a new challenge. We were fighters to our core and everyone was trying to end that legacy we had started to build.”
“That sucks.”
“It does. There’s someone who wants to be known for taking you down. Then, of course, there are the women who just want to be known for screwing you,” Leo said. “For a couple of years, we were both pulled into this world. Fighting, fucking, gambling, drinking, and for a short time we thought we were happy.”
“What happened?” Skylar asked.
“James happened,” Paul said. “He opened our eyes, made us see what we were doing wrong, how easily we were fucking up. The thing about fighting is, for everyone that leaves, there’s always ten more to take his place. We were getting older and the thirst to prove went.”