“Yeah, I am, actually, and it’s serious.”
“How serious?”
“Serious enough for me to try to get her pregnant.” The words slipped out, and he cursed himself. “Just shut the fuck up. No matter what you think, this isn’t going to go away. Lucy had a right to know what happened to you. You’ve got three kids. One of them lost his shit when you were gone, and it was up to us to pick up the pieces.”
“And I appreciate that.”
“You don’t appreciate shit.”
Pixie lifted up his cell phone and looked through the photographs he’d taken of Suzy. There were some of her with Cora, with the club, with Grace and Chloe, then a rare few of the two of them together.
“I never intended to be gone for long.”
“Regardless, you were still gone. Your son felt that loss. The fucking club felt your loss.” Pixie forced himself to look at Dane. “Where were you?”
“I was dealing with myself.”
“You were out partying and screwing around, weren’t you?”
Dane didn’t say a word, and Pixie forced a laugh. “This is what it’s about? You think you didn’t get enough pussy before the club?”
“I was married.”
“When we fought for Ned Walker, Dane, there were enough groupies for you to have more than your fair share. If I recall, you did. You had your fair share, and then some before Lucy came. Once she was there, no other woman would do. You wanted her. We warned you about settling down. You said you were ready, and I have to say, you convinced me. Now you’re saying that you weren’t.”
Silence fell between them.
“I just, I woke up one day, and I realized I wanted a different life.”
Pixie closed his eyes, disgusted with himself. There was a time he’d have completely understood Dane’s thinking. The feeling of being trapped into a marriage, three kids, a mortgage, a club, all of it. Now, he didn’t see it as a trap, but a fucking privilege.
“You walked away from one of the best women this world has to offer. She was there by your side when you fought. Through the losses and the wins, and I don’t remember anyone ever pushing Lucy aside. She pushed them aside to get to you.” Pixie shook his head. “She didn’t want kids at the time, but she had them for you. The more I think about it, the more Lucy did for you, and you’re just a selfish asshole.”
“I never stopped loving her.”
“But your dick was inside another woman.”
“You fuck women every single day. All of them different.”
“I’d never do that to the woman I commit the rest of my life to. That shit is sacred.” He’d never cheat on Suzy. He loved her so much.
Holy shit!
He loved her. That was what he felt for Suzy. It wasn’t anything else but love. Pixie stood up, and left the room, slamming the door closed, and leaning against it before dropping down onto his butt.
He was in love with Suzy. The thought of it, the words, besides shocking him, were the utter truth. Licking his lips, he ran a hand over his face. His heart was pounding. Was this what James felt for Cora? Drake for Grace. Holy hell. Yeah, he was in the zone of being shocked right now.
Grabbing his cell phone, he dialed Suzie’s number, and waited.
“Hello,” she said, sounding a little breathless.
“Hey, baby,” he said, smiling.
“Pixie, how are you?”
He imagined her sitting on the edge of her bed, listening to him.
“I’m good. Missing you, and wishing I was with you.”