Wrapping my arms around myself, I try and keep myself together in more ways than one. I don’t want to be here right now, on this stupid boat. Feeling the panic inside me rise up I start walking around the deck, looking out into the vast darkness of the ocean. We are so far out I can’t even see a single light past the water.
The wind is chilly and barely having anything on doesn’t help to keep me warm one bit, but I would rather freeze to death out here than go back in there again. Hopefully Shelby will notice that I’m missing and come out and find me soon.
Walking back to the far end of the yacht where I’m hidden by the darkness, I let go of the pain that’s painting my insides. Tears start to fall down my cheeks, even though I told the bastards to stay inside. Placing my hands on the cold metal railing I let my head fall forward.
How did my life become so sad?
The question has been running through my mind for a while now. How did it come to this? Was is all my fault? My father’s? Or maybe it was nobody’s fault and we all just need to live with the cards we were dealt? Somehow, I don’t think that.
One tear after the other cascades down my face, and into the dark blue ocean beneath me. All I want is for someone to hug me. To take me into their arms and tell me I’m going to be alright, that everything is going to be okay.
A brisk wind blows through my hair and I bite my lip to stifle the sob threatening to rip from my throat. I’m torn from my hug daydream by a hard shove from behind.
Everything unfolds so fast that I don’t have even a second to react. One moment I’m standing by the railing, the next I’m being shoved over the edge, flying through the cold air.
A gut-wrenching scream rips from my chest, rushing past my lips a moment before my body hits the unforgiving sea.
Pain ripples through me on impact, petrifying my bones as a terrorizing darkness swallows me whole. Panic grabs onto every cell in my body, robbing my brain of any thought but one. Survival.
It takes everything inside me to push aside the feeling of a thousand needles prickling across my skin that the ice-cold water leaves me with. My lungs burn, begging, pleading for air. Squeezing my eyes shut I overcome the stiffness in my limbs and start kicking my legs with everything I have left to give.
I push and push, giving it my all, but if I’ve learned anything, it’s that sometimes giving someone or something your all isn’t enough.
Chapter Seven
My chest constricts the muscles so tight that I can barely breathe. I try and swallow but my throat, and lungs hurt so badly that it feels like an elephant is sat on my chest.
Somehow, I manage to get air into my lungs, though it feels like I’m breathing through a straw. Darkness still has a hold on me, its claws sinking deep into my subconscious refusing to let go, and let me open my eyes.
While I can’t open my eyes, my ears still work. There are voices surrounding me, most of which I don’t know. There is a gasp and a flurry of whispers that float around me like clouds wisping through the air.
Two voices stick out, reaching deep inside of me, making my shallow heartbeat, turn into a hard gallop.
“She’s breathing,” Oliver exclaims. I can hear him panting, attempting to catch his breath and I wonder what happened. There’s a hand cradling face and somehow, I know it’s his. I want to nuzzle into his touch, sink into his warmth, but I can’t. I can’t move at all. It feels like I’m floating just barely clinging to this world.
“Harlow, can you hear me?” Sullivan’s voice caresses my ear. There’s a pleading to his voice, telling me he’s concerned, and I try my best to answer him, or at least, open my eyes, but I’m unable to do either. My lips part, my mouth opening, but words never come. All I get are my teeth chattering together.
Only now, with the touch of Oliver’s hand do I realize how cold I am. More than cold, freezing.
“We need to get her dry and warm,” Banks says, right next to me, two strong hands rubbing up and down my arm.
A second pair of strong arms slide underneath me and lift me into the air. My body curls in on itself as if out of instinct and my head falls against a firm shoulder.
“Everything’s going to be okay. I’ve got you,” Sullivan whispers into the shell of my ear while cradling me to his chest.
Strangely, that’s all I need to hear to know it’s going to be okay. He said he’s got me, and for the first time, I believe him because I know, deep down, he won’t let anything happen to me. In his arms I’m shielded, secure, and protected, at least for now. I let sleep pull me under once more. Even in the darkness I feel safe knowing he is holding me.