My cheeks felt hot at the idea of Arran being the opposite of useless in that department. “Okay.”
And then as I waited for him to freshen up, I heard his voice in my head over and over, telling me he trusted me.
He’d trusted me with information only Brodan knew.
Arran trusted me.
Something eased inside I didn’t know needed easing. All this time, I was waiting to trust other people. It never occurred to me it might feel good to be trusted so completely in return.
13
EREDINE
It was rare when I didn’t have something planned for my days off, and this Thursday was no exception. When I’d mentioned I missed my monthly hikes with Robyn and Arro, now that they were pregnant and unable to accompany me, Regan had offered to go in their stead.
Surprising, since Regan wasn’t overly athletic, and she was also pretty busy with the kids and planning the double wedding for her and Thane, and Arro and Mac, this summer.
But I didn’t turn her down. I loved hiking, being out in nature. It brought me calm, and when I was feeling overwhelmed, a hike always soothed me.
Currently, however, Arran occupied my thoughts. We’d gone running together almost every morning this week, as per usual, and I’d tried to be normal around him. Yet I felt different about him. I felt … closer to him.
He trusted me, and I realized something amazing.
I trusted him in return.
That feeling of closeness had heightened my attraction to him.
If I was honest, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to be with him. Intimately.
However, I also hadn’t changed my mind about avoiding romantic relationships for the rest of eternity.
It was a clusterfuck of emotions.
“You’re quiet,” Regan observed about five minutes in. I’d chosen a trail fifteen minutes outside of Ardnoch, in an area called Ardgay, perfect for people who weren’t avid hikers. It had well-constructed paths ambling through the forests, and you could either take the path to Loch Migdale or hike to the top to survey the views. I was leading Regan to the loch.
“Am I?” I threw over my shoulder.
“Yes. You’ve been kind of quiet all week, actually.”
“Or my whole life,” I joked.
“God, I thought Pilates would keep me in shape, but you’re walking this trail like it’s a straight path,” Regan called, sounding slightly out of breath. “Arrgh!”
I whipped around at her sound of pain. “Are you okay?”
She was several steps down from me, grimacing, her hand on her lower back. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” She winced again as she prodded a spot near her spine. “Just twisted my back last night, and it’s acting up.”
“We can turn around,” I assured her.
“No, I’ll be fine. I’m not ruining your hike.”
This didn’t really count as much of a hike but more a walk in the woods. Still, I’d take it. “You sure you’re all right? How did you hurt it?” I turned to continue, but at her silence looked back over my shoulder.
She looked … embarrassed. “Uh, you know.” She shrugged and followed me again.
Realization dawned. “It’s a sex injury?”
“Eredine!” Regan sounded surprised. Which kind of pissed me off. She’d have no problem telling Robyn it was a sex injury.
“Well?”
She huffed. “I just don’t want to embarrass you.”
I frowned and stopped to look at her again. “I’m not embarrassed.”
Regan flushed. “I know, I just … you don’t talk about this stuff, so …”
“I talk about it,” I insisted belligerently. “We all talk about it.”
“No, I just meant—”
“I’ve had sex, Regan. Plenty of sex. I’m not some shy, clueless virgin you have to be a prude around.”
My friend blinked rapidly, clearly shocked.
Irritated, I turned and walked again. The steps led upward before they veered and started taking us back down toward the loch.
“I’m sorry.” Regan caught up with me. It was a tight squeeze for us both, but she seemed determined to look me in the eye. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that way.”
I shrugged because I wasn’t sure I hadn’t overreacted. “So. Am I right? About your back?”
Regan gave a huff of laughter. “Yes. We tried this new position last night, but Thane has stamina, so I was in the same slightly twisted position a bit too long, and I’ve got a knot in my back the size of Scotland.”
“Get him to massage it out. He put it there.”
She laughed. “Yeah, I will.”
We fell quiet again as I took the lead. Catching sight of a doe through the trees, I halted Regan with my finger pressed to my lips and then pointed so she could see the deer. Just as I did, a buck appeared beside the doe. Regan drew in a breath as we watched them forage.
Neither of us fumbled to find our phones to capture the moment. Instead, we stayed in the moment, enjoying it.
Silently, we moved on through the trail, trying not to startle the deer. As we neared the loch, Regan spoke up. “Can I ask you a personal question?”