Because I can’t help myself, I find my eyes drifting to Landon, wanting to cringe when I see his eyes drifting back to a woman at the bar. He has a reputation at school, a ladies’ man. The guy is always down to have a good time with whatever cleat chaser of his choosing.
I tried avoiding not only Landon our freshman year, but also the whispers in the locker room as well as on campus. His prowess here in New Mexico wasn’t a fluke because he carried it with him all the way to Texas three years ago.
My best friend, the one afraid to take that final leap, didn’t waste any time proving just how straight he was by hooking up with Keira Hargrove within a week of our lips meeting in the dark. They had an on-and-off thing all through senior year of high school, and it’s continued anytime they’re both back home from college. I wouldn’t be surprised if she showed up here tonight. At least if they disappeared together, I wouldn’t have to make the drive out to Cerberus property to take him home.
“She’s fucking hot,” Landon says, and I don’t have to pull my eyes off the side of his face to know who he’s talking about. “Too bad she’s here with some other guy.”
“They aren’t together,” I mutter before I can stop myself.
Landon has a way of making me forget to filter my thoughts, and most days, I hate myself for it.
“You must be blind,” he argues, his eyes darting to the front door when it opens.
I breathe a sigh of relief when it’s an older couple rather than Keira.
This longing that still burns so deep inside of me is what makes it so difficult to be around the man. I know he can sense it. He has to know things haven’t changed for me.
I swallow, blaming the lump of emotion in my throat on the exhaustion of stubbornly driving the entire way home instead of trading off with Landon like we usually do.
“I’m not blind, and my gaydar has always been better than yours.”
He snorts, his disgust clear in the sound.
What he doesn’t say is that mine clearly doesn’t work very well if I thought he was into me the same way I was into him.
Message received, asshole.
“He may not be out, but he’s definitely gay,” I assure him. “At any rate, they aren’t together like that.”
I don’t want Landon’s attention on me. The walls I’ve built over the years are weaker when I’m tired, and the last thing I need is for him to finally take a stand against the way I feel about him.
“Let’s find out,” Landon says, slipping from his stool and walking across the room.
I don’t know why I follow him. I cut the leash the man had around my throat after the rumors of him and Keira were confirmed years ago. At the time, I hated myself for pushing him into something that he wasn’t ready for, just to prove how virile a man he was.
It took me a very long time to accept that Landon is responsible for his actions, just as I am for mine.
“Hey there,” Landon says as he approaches the couple.
That flirtatious tone is in his voice, and as much as I’ve done my best over the years to avoid hearing it, it’s still all too familiar.
“I’m Rick and this is Landon,” I say, trying to get the upper hand on this challenge Landon has set in front of us.
I need to somehow turn this around from him trying to get the girl to proving the man sitting beside her isn’t straight.
I don’t have to look over at my former friend to know that he’s frowning.
The look on the woman’s face answers my question.
“If this is some sort of competition, I can say you’re both wasting your time, and you’ll both lose.”
“So, you two are together?” Landon asks, a smugness in his tone.
“We aren’t,” she confirms. “But that doesn’t—”
“I’m not after you, honey,” I say, my eyes locked on the sexy-as-sin man sitting beside her.
“For fuck’s sake,” the man grumbles, making my victorious smile falter slightly.
“We go to college in Texas. Where do you go to school?” I don’t know if Landon is trying to distract me from the man or if he’s honestly trying to push his luck with this woman.
Knowing him, he sees them not being together as his green light to make a move, despite her telling him he has no chance when we first approached. The man isn’t accustomed to rejection.
“I don’t,” she answers, her eyes darting away as if there’s a sad story behind her response.
I want to pull on Landon’s sleeve, concede and take his ass home.
“Boys.” My eyes snap up to Drake, Jake’s bartender.
I give him a wicked grin. Despite having absolutely no chance with the roguish bartender, it never stops me from flirting with him every damn chance I get. There’s a certain freedom in hooking up with someone you don’t have to worry about hurting you. Pain from a relationship is impossible when there’s no chance of loving them.