What if it’s been all an act on his part or some long game on getting back at me for rejecting him all those years ago?
I was a complete dick to him so often for so long that he has to feel some animosity toward me, right?
I finally gain the courage to chance a look in Rick’s direction, but he’s focused on tying his cleats.
I feel as if I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, trying to gain the courage to jump and coming up short.
I stiffen my spine, my eyes locked on Rick. That man gives me the strength to do anything. I’m the biggest jerk alive for even thinking that he doesn’t care for me the way he says he does. He’s not a manipulative person.
He loves me. I know he does.
I honestly thought telling my parents about us was going to be the hardest thing. Their disappointment I would’ve had to deal with my whole life. How the guys in this locker room feel is irrelevant. I’m graduating in six months and will not see most of the guys ever again.
The moment still feels monumental somehow as I clear my throat and step up on the bench in front of my locker.
“Guys!” I snap, gaining the attention of many of them.
I wait a few seconds longer, but several are still chatting.
“Fucking pay attention!” Silas snaps, causing the chatty guys to turn toward me.
Squeezing my fists tightly doesn’t stop the tremble in them, but I’ve come this far and refuse to step back down and tell them never mind.
All eyes are on me, yet I stand here with the inability to speak. I watch as the guys shift on their feet and blink up at me.
“Do it,” Silas urges.
I can’t. I can’t seem to open my mouth to get the words out.
I’ve done this a million times in my head, trying to picture the reactions of my teammates and fellow athletes. It ranged from wide smiles with a burst of applause to getting my ass beat and being accused of manipulating them for the last three and a half years.
As they grow restless with my silence, I feel it could go either way.
But then I find Rick’s eyes.
He’s shocked. It’s written all over his face. He knows what’s coming, and it isn’t until a small smile plays on his lips that I finally have the courage to do what I’ve wanted to get out of the way for a while now.
“I have a few announcements to make,” I say, my voice cracking.
They remain silent. This would be a lot easier if someone yelled a snide remark or something, and it’s a little weird that someone hasn’t done that yet.
“I’m not declaring for the draft.”
This brings a round of chatter to the guys on my team. “Why the fuck not?”, “Are you serious?” echoes around me.
“I’m enlisting into the Marine Corps right after graduation.”
Many nod in understanding. Most are familiar with my dad and Cerberus, and have a lot of respect for those men.
“Brave motherfucker,” Jones yells, gaining agreement from many.
“I’m also in love,” I say when the chatter dies down.
“Don’t do it!” one guy from the wrestling team. “Women are Satan!”
I smile at him before directing my eyes back to Rick.
“Not only do I know I’ll never find a love like this ever again, but I also don’t want to,” I say as I step down from the bench and begin to walk across the room. “I’ve never been happier, never felt more whole in my life.”
A wave of confusion passes over the group of guys when I stop right in front of Rick.
“My best friend kissed me one night, and it freaked me out. Not because he was a guy, but because I liked it. Kissing boys isn’t bad, but I didn’t think it was for me.”
“I kissed a guy on a dare once. Never chubbed up so fast in my life.”
“Shut the fuck up, Rogers,” Silas hisses. “Can’t you see they’re having a moment?”
“Sorry, dude. Go on.”
“I wasted years being confused, and I’ll regret that as long as I live, but I’m no longer confused. I’m in love with my best friend.”
Rick’s eyes go wide as I drop to one knee in front of him.
“I love you, Rick Matthews.”
Heat spreads up his cheeks, the pink in them reminding me of how he looks after I make him come.
“Will you marry me?”
Silence swirls around me as I pull the gift from my back pocket.
Rick looks down in his hands, rolling his eyes when I hold the item up.
A roar of laughter fills the room as they realize I’m holding up the pair of Yes, Daddy boxers.
“You fucking had me!” someone yells.
“Fucking epic!” comes from the other side of the locker room.
I stand up in front of Rick, wondering if he’s going to kiss me or punch me. Truly, it could go either way.