“We’re just—”
“Swear to fucking God, Matthews. If you say you’re just friends—”
“What the fuck is going on?”
Landon snaps his head in the direction of the hallway, and I watch as confusion and then a hint of him being impressed crosses his face as he takes in Joey walking into the room in basketball shorts, no shirt, all the while running a towel over his damp hair.
I want to laugh at the way Landon drops his eyes to the man’s chest. I want to say, I know, right?
Joey is one impressive guy. He’s muscled in a way that makes most athletes jealous.
Rex chuckles at the silence filling the room, his eyes going a little swimmy when Joey walks to him, presses a quick kiss to his lips before tucking Rex under his arm.
“Landon Andrews, meet my boyfriend, Joey.”
Joey sweeps his eyes down Landon’s body, all the way to his feet and back again, a look of pure disgust on his face. To everyone’s detriment, if Rex hates someone, Joey does too, just by default.
“No,” Rex says, pressing his palm to Joey’s chest. “We don’t hate him anymore.”
Joey’s sneer immediately turns into a small smile.
Rex sweeps his arm out toward Landon. “You were saying?”
Landon clears his throat but doesn’t speak.
“Your focus is on Rick,” Rex whispers. “Stop perving on my hot-as-fuck boyfriend.”
Landon slow blinks, giving his head a little shake before turning his eyes back to me.
Since I’m petty as fuck on a good day, I cock an eyebrow at him.
“I’ll accept your apologies, and then you can go.”
My heart rate kicks up a couple more notches as I wait for him to respond.
“Can we go back to the room so we can talk?”
He sounds calmer, a hint of defeat in his voice, and I almost give in, but I’ve been giving in to this man for years. I’ve been shirking myself to make him bigger, and I’m over it. I don’t want to be in his shadow. I don’t want to be part of his darkness. I deserve more.
I take a deep breath, relishing in the way I feel as my spine straightens.
“Atta boy,” Rex whispers.
“I told you before. I’m over being your secret.” He simply nods, and disappointment washes over me. He came in so strong, that part of me that always thinks the best of him a whisper in my ear that maybe today is our turning point. It wasn’t a horrible grand gesture, but it also means nothing if he doesn’t use it as forward momentum.
His hands clench at his sides, his ears turning pink at the tips. “I kept your secrets for years. From your family, from mine.”
“And I’m grateful for that.”
“Is that what you need from me? Do I need to tell the world?”
My head shakes immediately, and true to form, this man has the ability to turn it all back on me, but I realize this time, he has a point.
It’s not my place to tell anyone when it’s time to let others know who they truly are. He kept my confidences as a teen, and I’m an asshole for expecting different from him. We aren’t at the same place in our awareness.
Landon inches closer. “Did you hear what I said?”
I shake my head, taking a step back.
“I’d never make you coming out a condition to—”
He steps up to me, pressing his chest to mine, and despite my anger and bitterness, the warmth of him through our clothes is like a balm to my soul.
His mouth is inches from mine.
“Not that,” he whispers. “I said I love you.”
“You’ve loved me for years,” I counter, still unable to fully accept what this man might be saying to me.
“I’m in love with you, Ricky,” he clarifies.
Before I can argue with him, his lips are on mine, tongue demanding entrance, and I forget all the pain, the years of distance, what happened last night, and I kiss him back, fingers gripping his shirt so he can’t pull away.
“Rex has a boyfriend,” I whisper against his lips.
“I know that now,” he says, a soft smile on his lips.
“Your jealousy makes me hard,” I say, echoing something he said to me weeks ago.
His hand grazes my cheek, but he doesn’t say anything.
“Do I need to get a water hose? We only have one bedroom, and you’re not fucking on my clean sheets.”
Laughter bubbles out of my throat as I press my forehead to Landon’s.
“Fucking Rex,” I mutter.
Chapter 33
Landon
He kissed me back, which is a good sign that he doesn’t hate me, but he didn’t say those words I’ve been so desperate to hear.
I pull my forehead from his, focusing on his eyes in an effort to get my answer, but at the same time I know assuming anything could be dangerous. We need to talk, and right here isn’t the best place for that.