“We need to talk.”
I want to roll my eyes and stomp my foot like an angry toddler. Don’t these people fucking know I don’t have time for their shit.
“Sounds serious,” Silas says, leaning his head in like he’s privileged to whatever Mazie has to say.
“Beat it, Fawkes.” Mazie stands with her hand on her hip, jaw tight until Silas holds his hands up before walking away.
“I’m sorry if I was rude to you last night.” Running a hand over the top of my head, I do my best to look remorseful although I can’t really remember many specifics. I just know I didn’t touch her in the way Rick accused me of.
“You don’t remember much, do you?”
I shake my head, wondering if I got it all fucking wrong about my actions when she scrunches up her nose.
“You don’t remember telling me about you and Rick?”
My heart pounds, threatening to bang right out of my chest.
“We’re friends from home. Roommates. Teammates.” I’m reaching for straws here.
“Lovers,” she says softly.
“Mazie, I—”
“I wanted to apologize.”
“What?” What could she have honestly done to ask for forgiveness?
“It wasn’t right of me to turn it into a joke and request a threesome.”
I shake my head. “I don’t remember any of that.”
“Then that makes me standing here even more awkward.” She digs the toe of her flip-flop into the grass, her eyes downcast.
I remember her walking away to dance with another guy, but I have no recollection of us speaking again after that. My head throbs in pain when I try to pull those memories up.
“I felt bad last night, but you passed out on the couch before I could say sorry.”
“It’s no big deal,” I say, honestly just wanting her to go away so I can deal with what this means for me, what it could possibly mean if she told someone else.
“That’s kind of you to say, and if you were someone else, I might take the opportunity you’re giving me, but I took your confession and managed to pervert it into some fetishized request, and that’s fucked up on my part.”
“I never thought of it that way,” I mutter, wondering how many times I opened my own mouth when one of the guys was talking about a chick they hooked up with and offered to lend them a helping hand.
Jesus, what the fuck is wrong with all of us?
“I haven’t been able to think of anything else.”
“Hooking up with Rick and me?”
She chuckles. “No, idiot. I’ve been feeling bad for making that suggestion last night. I wish the two of you luck, and you don’t even have to ask. I won’t say a word to anyone. Just know you have my full support, and I’ll do my best not to imagine the two of you hooking up, no matter how sexy I think it is.”
“Thanks?”
She laughs again, reaching up on the tips of her toes and presses a kiss to my cheek before walking off.
She’s ten feet away when she turns back around. “I saw him near the Science building about ten minutes ago if you were wondering.”
I mouth thank you and take off in that direction, my heart kicking up at having some hope that he’ll forgive my ignorance. We can get past this. I’m certain of it. If for some reason our stars don’t align the way I need them to, I’ll simply tie him up and tickle his fucking feet until he gives in.
Fuck, that sounds seriously weird even in my head.
My feet stop so fast when I round the corner of the science building that I nearly fall over.
I’m witnessing exactly what I feared, only seeing it is worse than what I imagined.
Of course, Rick and Rex are together. I somehow knew they would be, but instead of living inside the same misery I’m suffering, Rick is smiling at the other man, his eyes sparkling, laughter bubbling from his chest.
I should confront him, demand how he could act so hurt earlier only to turn it off and have a good time with this other man. I’ve never hated anyone the way I hate Rex. He’s the center of so many of my own insecurities. Rick knows this. I can’t help but see this as a personal affront by the man who I grew up with.
Instead of confronting them, because once again that would take more courage in this public setting than I could ever muster, I stay in the shadow of a large oak and watch them.
My stomach twists and turns, filling with pain and anguish at just how easily they get along with each other.
Rick’s just friend, doesn’t hesitate to press his hand to Rick’s forearm when he laughs. He doesn’t look around to see if someone is watching when he brushes something off his cheek.
These are things I’d never be able to do with witnesses.