Beside me.
I’m woken a few times after that for tests and scans, when I’m finally left to sleep, I don’t wake until morning. When I move, my body aches and throbs. I open my eyes and instantly, my mind goes to Jagger. I sit up, groaning in pain and look around the room. Jenny is sitting on a chair beside the bed. My eyes meet hers and she stands, rushing over. She strokes a piece of hair from my face and smiles weakly.
“Jagger?”
“He’s ok. He’s in a bad way, but they think he’ll make a full recovery.”
My body slumps down and I shudder in relief.
“Do you want to see him?”
“Yes.”
We call the nurse to do a check and give me the all clear to leave the room, then Jenny helps me out of bed. I’m sore, but other than a few fractures, I’ll recover in a few days and be able to get on with life. It takes a little while to hobble out of the room, but as time passes, each step becomes easier. We get into an elevator and Jenny squeezes my hand.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m ok, sore, but ok.”
“I’m sorry about what happened out there yesterday.”
I nod and chew on my bottom lip to keep the emotions from breaking out.
“I had so much I wanted to say to him,” I whisper, in reference to our father.
She nods. She understands. “Me, too.”
We stand in silence until we reach the intensive care unit. When we get out, Jenny leads me towards some rooms. We have to check we’re allowed in, and when we’re given permission, we step into one and I see Jagger in the third bed. I make a pained sound and he turns his head, meeting my gaze. Jenny leads me over to him, and I reach out and take his hand.
“Hey beautiful,” he croaks.
“I’ll leave you two to it.”
Jenny slides a chair over and I sit on it, then she kisses my cheek and walks out. Jagger looks awful, his face is pale, and he’s got tubes everywhere.
“You’re ok...” I whisper.
“I’m ok.”
“I’m so sorry all of that happened...”
He lightly shrugs. “It was going to happen sometime...”
I laugh even as a tear slides down my cheek. “Why are you always so calm?”
He reaches out, hanging onto my hand. “Calm is all I can be. We’re goin’ to be ok now. It’s over.”
“If I had lost you...” I whisper, glancing away.
“You didn’t.”
He’s right. I didn’t. But that doesn’t stop the aching pain in my chest at the very thought of it.
“I’m sorry. For running out, for the fight, for everything that happened before all of this. I was acting like a child and I shouldn’t have done that.”
He glances at me. “Emotions were high, I can’t blame you. It has been a fuckin’ rough time.”
“Is it really over now?”
He nods. “Manchez is dead. In the end, that’s what the main goal was.”
“The information?” I ask, choosing not to mention that I made a copy of it just yet.
“We’ll figure something out. At least for now, I don’t have to deal with him.”
That’s something, I suppose.
“The police, have they come by?” I ask, curious.
Jagger nods. “Yeah, but we are all giving the same story. Wrong place. Wrong time. We got caught up in something we shouldn’t have. As far as they know, we had nothing to do with Manchez and what he had going down. Unless someone spills, they have nothing.”
Thank God for that.
“What now?” I ask, scooting the chair closer. “What do we do?”
“Right now, I’m just glad everyone is safe. The rest of it I’ll worry about later.”
That’s probably the best answer I’ve had in quite some time.
“My father was working for Manchez this entire time,” I say, voice low. “He died out there.”
Jagger nods. “I’m sorry. I know that isn’t an easy piece of information to swallow. Especially with everything you’ve been through.”
“Did you know?”
Jagger shakes his head. “No. I had suspicions after we caught him that something wasn’t right, but I could have never picked that.”
“Well,” I murmur, staring at my hands. “At least he really is gone this time.”
“Hey,” he says, reaching for my hand and tugging it until I look up at him, “I got you.”
He’s got me.
Those words will always make something inside me feel a little safer.
Right now, that’s what I need the most.
18
Jagger is released six days later, and I take him home to my place. I’ve spent the days that he’s been in hospital, organizing my father’s funeral. His actual funeral. One that he will really be buried during. My mother has obtained a day pass to come and attend with Sarah by her side. It’s tomorrow and I feel sick in the stomach knowing I have to say goodbye. I don’t know how I feel about it all and the thoughts are tormenting my mind.