I grip his face, deepening the kiss. My mind is hazy and I just want comfort. It’s all I need. Just comfort. He’s my comfort. He grips my panties and tears them off in one quick movement. No time for foreplay, just like earlier. We just want each other; I want him inside me, thrusting until it hurts. He grips his boxer shorts and pulls them down, and slowly lowers my pussy over his cock.
“God,” I whimper, clinging to him as he sinks into me, stretching me wide.
I feel his piercings touching that sensitive spot inside me, and I cry out, rocking my hips and clawing at his chest. He groans and grips my ass, using it to guide me up and down. I slide easily along his length, so aroused it hurts. His ragged groans fill me and spur me on. I need all of him. Every bit I can get. He thrusts his hips upward, causing violent tremors to course through my body. When I cum around him, his growls fill my ears.
“Fuck!”
He pulses deep inside me, and I whimper when he clings to me and thrusts his hips upward to milk every last droplet out. When I come down from my high, I fall down onto his chest, face buried in the warmth there. We both fall silent, our panting the only sound that can be heard. I need to stop this. I know I do. But I can’t. I’m so confused, so obsessed with this man, I don’t know how to escape.
“Why do I keep doing this?” I whisper against his skin.
“We both know why,” he murmurs.
“No, Jagger, I don’t. It’s toxic, it’s dangerous, yet I keep coming back.”
“Who said it was dangerous, toxic? Who?” he growls.
“You took me from my life. I went through hell because of you, and yet I’m so madly in ...”
“In what?”
I shove away from him, sliding off until I fall onto my back on the bed. “It doesn’t matter, it’s wrong. Whatever I’m feeling, it isn’t real. None of this is real. It’s all a crazy headfuck, and it’s going to cause more pain than I can handle.”
“It is real. Whatever it was that we felt then wasn’t created in your mind. Why don’t you fuckin’ trust your own judgment?”
“I have a weakness. My mother is in an institution because she has the same weakness. I don’t trust it to lead me down the right path. This, it isn’t normal. It’s not okay. It’s an obsession because of the way I am.”
“You think you’re weak? You’ve dealt with things others would never have been able to handle. You made it through, and you’re still alive. What you feel is real, and just because your mother has a problem, doesn’t mean you do, too. You’re nothing like your mother ...”
“You don’t know that,” I grind out, frustrated.
This conversation, it always triggers something in me I so desperately try to hide.
“Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t ...”
“Yes, I fuckin’ do!” he barks.
I sit up, I can’t take this any longer. “I have to go.”
“Do not fuckin’ leave this room.”
“Please, don’t do that again ... you can’t have sex with me. We can’t ... this is nothing, Jagger. It’ll never be anything.”
“You started that, not me,” he points out, his voice tight.
“Well, I’m finishing it,” I whisper, then turn and leave the room.
When I get to Jenny and Ava’s bed, I crawl in and crumble. They don’t say a word, they just pull me close and hold onto me until all my tears subside.
They know ... they know.
Jagger is wrong.
I’m just like her.
12
The morning comes like a horrible cold. I know what I must face today, and I don’t know how I’ll do it. My home, my life, and my friend’s lives have been invaded. I know it’s for our own safety, but I can’t get over the fact that our lives have just been put in danger, and we did nothing at all to deserve it. I hate my father for that right now.
I get up and slide out of the bed. Jenny is still curled up beside me, sleeping soundly. I walk out into the kitchen and Ava’s standing with a coffee in hand, staring at the two half naked men sleeping on the couch, the expression on her face quite hilarious. I glance over at them and can’t help but smile. Big bad boys in the daylight, but here and now, they just look like two normal men sleeping without a care in the world.
“I can’t complain about the view and all, but seriously, I can’t believe we have to be followed around for god knows how long,” Ava mutters.
I laugh softly and pour a coffee. “I know, it’s frustrating, but the alternative isn’t something you want.”
She nods. “I ran into Angel last night in the hall way, seriously, just slammed right into him. The man was half naked. Scared the life out of me.”