PROLOGUE
I run my fingers through the damp soil as I sit on the grass, the dew soaking into my long, black dress as I stare at the empty gravesite. Nobody is here, nobody except me and my mother. The silence is deafening as the priest murmurs a few incoherent words. Rain drops splatter on my father’s faded-brown casket, the only one we could afford. It would have been nicer—could have been nicer—if my mother hadn’t used all our savings to fuel her drug habit.
Death has a feeling. An empty, soul-crushing feeling. Even when you say your final goodbyes, your very being is dragged down into the dirt with your loved one. My father, he was the only good thing I had left. Now it’s just her and me. She doesn’t love me. Perhaps once she did, but, for right now, her only care in this bitter world is when she can get her next hit. He fought for us. He fought for me.
“Get up off the ground, Willow,” comes her scolding voice as she reaches down, her bony fingers curling around my arm as she hauls me on to my feet.
She still speaks to me as if I’m a small child. Like the world hasn’t crushed me because of her sins. I might not be old enough to escape her clutches, but my mind far outweighs others of my age.
She still acts as though I don’t understand.
“Don’t touch me,” I murmur, staring as the casket slowly lowers into the ground.
The creaking sounds from the machine doing all the work only make the entire situation more eerie. I cross my arms and stare down, watching as the only good thing in my life gets lowered into the ground. I’ll never be able to talk to him again, never be able to hear his voice or feel his presence. He’s gone, and he left me when I needed him the most. For that, I hate him.
“Do not scold me at your father’s funeral,” she hisses, leaning in close. “I’ve lost everything because of you.”
Because of me.
Because. Of. Me.
She thinks this is my fault.
The problem with that is ... she’s wrong.
He was just going to get me some ice cream. He hugged me, kissed me, told me he loved me, and then disappeared.
He never came home.
There was an accident—his car went right off the side of the road, down a large ditch, and then was thrown over a cliff.
It’s my fault, according to her, because I wanted the ice cream.
If she wasn’t passed out in her room, she could have gotten it for me.
“The only thing you’ve lost, Mother,” I whisper, shivering as the cold feels like it goes down to my very bones, “is the ability to live.”
She stares at me and then shakes her head. “I can’t do this anymore, not with you. You need to go somewhere else. Without him ...”
Without him, she has no money.
That means she has no drugs.
That means she has to find a way to get money, and she’s not going to spend a single cent of that on me.
I’m not scared; no, I no longer care if I’m with her or I’m not.
He took a piece of me when he left me.
There is nothing more for her to break.
1
Flashing lights flicker as bodies move across the dance floor. Laughter and the sounds of glasses clinking can be heard as we shimmy through the sea of bodies. It’s a vibe, and only the kind of vibe you get from the most elite of clubs. This one, newly opened, is the best of the best, and people have flocked for miles to get in. Luckily for us, my best friend Ava knows people and managed to secure us a way in tonight.
I’m grateful.
It’s incredible.
“This place is bustling,” I yell to Ava as we shove through the crowds of people trying to find a space to settle in.
“I know. It’s pretty cool, right? Mark told me this is the place to be.”
I nod my head. “It’s impressive, your boss knows his stuff.”
I glance around as we move closer and closer to the bar; it’s something else entirely, with the flashing neon lights, blue and purple, and the crystal-clear glass chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.
We manage to make it to the bar and find ourselves a gap big enough to try our hand at getting a drink. Ava turns to me, a smile on her face. “Club life, eh?”
I laugh, nodding. “Yeah. It’s something else.”
Ava grins and tosses her long, blond hair over her shoulder, looking around. “There are some fine men in here tonight.”
I glance around. The girl is right, there most certainly are. I could use a night out with one of these hotties.
“I say we make a bet,” Ava yells over the blaring music.
I raise my brows. “Oh?”