Sitting up slowly, I realize it’s already bright outside, the sun peeking through the curtains. Checking my phone, I see that it’s past nine. I usually don’t sleep this long, but I barely slept last night, so I’m not too surprised. Matter of fact, I feel like I haven’t slept at all. My muscles ache, my stomach is nothing more than a ball of knots.
All over again, I’m back to feeling anxious, terrified of what’s to come.
My gaze flicks to Alice, who is quietly snoring across the room. She’s sleeping soundly, peacefully, and I’m jealous of that because I know it’ll be a long time before I can sleep like that again. For a long time, I just sit there on my bed, trying to figure out what to do. Every thought leads me down a dead-end road.
My father will not be okay with me leaving, even with Parker here, even with him threatening me. He’ll simply tell me to stand my ground. To grow a backbone. He’ll say I brought this on myself. I know it. But I have to do something. My hands shake, and panic grips on to me, refusing to let go. I don’t feel safe here. I don’t feel anything but anger and fear. Breathing deeply, I tell myself that I can’t just let him break into my room and treat me like this. I have to do something. Anything.
Trying not to be loud, so I don’t wake Alice, I slip out of the bed and tiptoe into the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I flick on the light. While brushing my teeth, I take a closer look in the mirror. I look sickly, my skin is ashen, my eyes lifeless. There are dark circles under them, and as I stare at my reflection, I’m surprised to find no bruises around my neck. I don’t bruise easily, but yesterday, I was sure he’d leave marks. It felt like he was strangling me. Or maybe that was just the fear of it all.
The memory of him in this room with me makes my skin crawl. When we were kids, Parker was always kind to me. At first, we had only come to know each other in passing, but as time went on and we got older, I started to see him more, at social gatherings, the country club, at meetings between our parents.
I try not to picture him as that kind boy, but instead as the one who threatened me last night. Those two are very different people, and it’s impossible to believe that they can live inside the same person.
Sneaking back into the bedroom, I get dressed as swiftly as I can, before sneaking out quietly. Walking through the dorms, my eyes flicker to every corner, every noise, almost as if I’m expecting Parker to jump out and attack me. He did this to me.
The walk across campus isn’t much better. My heart is in my throat the entire time, and I’m unable to shake the constant fear looming right beneath my skin, threatening to swallow me whole. Like a lunatic, I look around. I feel like I’m being watched, all eyes on me as I walk into the campus security office.
God, I hate him. I hate him so much.
“Hello, Miss, what can we do for you today?” One of the two officers sitting inside the office greets me. He is a pudgy middle-aged guy, his hair graying, but he has a friendly smile, so that eases me a little.
“Hi, ah… I want to report an incident,” I say, my voice a little unsure. Only in this moment do I realize that I’m going to have to tell them the whole story. Tell them in detail what happened last night. Relive the whole thing.
A grain of doubt is planted in my gut, spreading quickly like weeds overflowing a garden. Am I ready for this? Ready to do this? Memories of the investigation around my sister resurface. Memories I’ve been trying to forget for so long. How I was interrogated that night. How scared and helpless I felt.
“I’m sorry to hear that, please come in and have a seat,” the other officer waves me forward. He is younger, maybe early thirties. His hair is cut short, and his face is shaved clean, giving him more of a police officer look than the other guy.
Walking further into the room, I take a seat at one of the desks. Both of the officers take a seat across from me. I stare down at my trembling hands wishing they would stop.
“I’m Officer Walden,” the older guy introduces himself, “and this is my partner, Officer Healy,” he points to the younger guy.
“I’m Willow. Willow Bradford,” I introduce myself.
“Miss Bradford, can you tell us exactly what happened? Start from the beginning.”