I jog up the steps to his house as he pulls away and lift my hand to ring the bell before thinking better of it—if Izzy is sleeping, I don’t want to wake her, and a lot of times, she dozes off after her first morning bottle.
Moving my knuckles to the wood surface of their door, I knock instead, pulling my phone out of my pocket and scrolling through it just in case I’ve missed any messages from Maria while I wait.
There’s nothing from her, but there is a new message from Cleo, much to my chagrin.
C: You know what they say? Diving is a leap of faith, and gravity will be there to finish the job. I hope you’ll enjoy the fall, my dear.
What the hell?
Me: Cleo, hun, you gotta cut the shit. You know the rules.
Her answer is immediate…almost as though she already knew what I was going to say.
C: When it comes to love, there are no rules. You know that better than most. But I’ll take my leave for now, my love. Reach out when you need me.
I know what she’s trying to do, but I refuse to acknowledge it. Instead, I scoff, laugh a little, and shove my phone back into my pocket, just as Winnie answers the door with a big smile on her face.
“Heeeyyy there, Rem,” Winnie singsongs. My baby sister is brilliant and vibrant and loving and kind and a whole list of incredible things. What she isn’t, unfortunately, is subtle in any way, shape, or form.
“Hi, Winnie,” I greet, keeping my voice neutral in a way that I know for a fact gets her goat. “How was Izzy last night?”
“She was great. No problem whatsoever.”
“Fantastic. Thanks again for keeping her.”
“And where is the lovely Maria? Did you guys have a good night last night?” she asks, her voice making it apparent she is desperate to be in the know. She is practically bursting from the inside, waiting for me to give her any kind of idea of how things went.
“She had a few showings this morning, so Izzy will be hanging with me for the day,” I tell her, bypassing the question she wants me to answer the most on purpose.
“Remy, seriously?” She stomps her foot impatiently, almost making me laugh. “Don’t leave me hanging here! Did my tequila make the clothes fall off?”
“Win,” I chastise, my voice low and authoritarian. The kind of thing only the oldest brother in the family can pull off. And even then, evidently, I can only pull it off a fraction of the time because Winnie is utterly unfazed.
“I’m sorry, but no.” She holds up a defiant hand toward my face. “I donated to the cause. I took the morning off work. I spent all night thinking about it. I deserve confirmation.”
“You spent all night thinking about Maria and me?” I tease with a shake of my head. “That’s pretty sick, sis.”
“Shut up. You’re stalling. Tell me if it worked and she’s madly in love with you or not.”
“Win, that’s not what the night was about. She just lost her sister and her brother-in-law, and she has no support system in place. I’m—”
“Blah, blah, blah, Rem. I know all of that. I know. And it’s really freaking sad, okay? But you know there’s another dimension to this. A happy dimension that I don’t know about and want to know right now. It’s written all over your damn face.” She takes a deep breath. “Tell me what I don’t know.”
Tired of fighting it, I sigh heavily and stare directly into her eyes. It’s not a confirmation, but at the same time, it is. Winnie knows me better than almost anyone in my family, and the look on my face doesn’t go unnoticed.
Suddenly overcome by craziness, she jumps up and down with a squeal and claps her hands together in front of her. “Oh yay! I’m so excited! I’ve always liked her so much, and now I get to like her on another level. She’s so cute with you, and the way she looks at you when you hold Izzy, and the way she got you a plate from the—”
I groan. “Winnie. Stop. Please. I’m begging you. It’s new. It’s all very new, and the last thing I need is the pressure of your visions for our life, okay?”
“But can I envision silently?” she whispers with her hands still clasped together like she’s praying.
I scoff. “I wouldn’t even dare to be foolish enough to think I could stop you.”
She smiles, jumping up and down again and leaning forward to place a kiss on my cheek. “Thank you.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
She giggles as she retreats down the hall with a wave over her shoulder. “I’ll go get Izzy.”
I breathe in extraordinarily deeply, step inside the door and close it, and let my head sink back to the wall just inside. The truth is, I haven’t stopped to think about much of anything since we left here last night. I’ve been going on instinct and feeling and gut.