CHAPTER12
Ethan was unable to sleep, but tonight, the feeling of being wide awake was welcomed. The practical and logical heart of him had always known that he was mired in the complex cycle of grief for two of the most important men in his life, losing them days apart. While he had accepted his father’s death as an inevitable part of the life cycle, with Oscar, Ethan felt he would forever wonder—if he had made other choices, would his friend still be alive today? He knew in time the pained guilt would fade like ashes in the wind, but he would always know that if not for his rakish, irresponsible ways of the past, Oscar might not have climbed up on that carriage, drunk as a lord, and driven the carriage to his demise.
Ethan closed his eyes, slicing away the images and memories from his thoughts. He did not want them to intrude at this moment, not when his wife lay in his arms. He did not want to miss Verity. The thought brought him some measure of amusement, for he had never been a man with a great sentimentality, but for the first time in his life, he admitted that Verity was a woman that wreaked havoc upon his heart and thoughts. She was a rare creature, with her sweet kindness and the way she listened without rushing in to fill the silence with noise. He liked that about her.
“Ethan?” she mumbled drowsily, snuggling into the crook of his arms. Almost idly the delicate tips of a single finger skimmed over his naked chest, dipping low, skimming over his abdomen to linger there.
“Yes?”
“How old are you?”
“Eight-and-twenty,” he murmured.
She twisted so that she reposed on her back, her head resting on the lower part of his chest. He could only imagine where she had flung her feet. The lady had no grace when she slept.
“Bedding is very satisfying,” she murmured huskily. “I see the appeal of doing this every chance we get. Is it always like this?”
He smiled in the dark, thinking how much he had been doing that of late. Smiling. Why was the notion so perplexing? “I can say I have never felt pleasure this intense in my life. It is disconcerting.”
“Why should it be disconcerting?” she demanded pertly.
“What reason is there for it to be this good?” he growled. What damn reason was there for simple tupping and companionship to twist him into such a shambles of emotion, and fill him with hunger, to want her again within minutes of having tupped her?
“I am simply incredible all around,” she said with a pleased laugh.
His duchess was indeed incredible. Something elusive stirred inside him, a whisper of pleasure and contentment. The feeling disturbed Ethan. He glanced down at her to find her peering up at him, a smile on her mouth, her cheeks rosy, and her eyes glittering with pleasure and good humor. “You are my wife,” a bit of wonder in his voice, realizing how much he liked her.
An unreadable emotion touched her gaze for a fleeting moment, then her lips sweetly curved. “Aye, and I am glad that I am.”
Fucking hell. Guilt pierced his chest, and with an inner snarl he tamped it down. Not now. He did not want to ruin this feeling of perfect peace. Yet he suspected guilt and regret would stab and wound him each time he looked into her blue eyes and saw laughter and happiness, for his little duchess did not know the hand he had in Oscar not marrying her sister.
Perhaps marrying her had been damned foolish after all. His heart rejected the notion with stunning violence. As if she sensed his sudden unrest, Verity turned onto her belly and crawled up his chest, and stroked a finger over his brow, soothing the beast that wanted to rise inside him, to fill him with a different kind of pain, one that could only be soothed inside her welcoming body. Ethan rolled with her until he cradled his weight through her spread legs, dipping his head to capture her mouth with his.
God, she tasted incredible. When last had he felt such pleasure from a mere kiss?
Her eager response enflamed his hunger even more, and he reached between them to fist his cock and fitted himself against her wet quim.
“Hold me, Verity,” he murmured against her lips.
With a sweet, soft sigh she wrapped her hands around his neck and opened herself more to his ravishment. She was already soft and wet. Her instinctive response swelled his cock with pulsating need. With a groan, he sank his cock deep inside her cunny to the hilt. Pleasure rippled up his spine and settled into his balls. Hell. He already wanted to spend inside her body. Ruthlessly pushing down the urge, he loved her slowly, wringing soft gasps and cries from her, waiting until she released three times before he took his own pleasure inside her welcoming body.
Several minutes later Ethan ensured his duchess was clean and snuggled against him as he sat up against the large carved headboard.
“You are unable to sleep,” she whispered.
“It is the newness of sleeping beside another,” he admitted brusquely.
It was little more than an exhalation of breath that escaped her, but it sliced through his heart. “You should return to your room, Ethan. The door between our rooms will always remain open.”
He dragged her up so that she sat between the open V of his legs, her back flush against his chest. He tugged the sheets about them, wrapping them into a warm cocoon. She giggled at his actions, and he pressed a kiss to the corner of her forehead. “I am not leaving, Verity. We are going to sleep together until we are old and wizened.”
“That is a lovely thought,” she said with a happy sigh. “However I will be old and graceful.”
“Tell me,” he murmured, “What do you like to do?”
“Finally curious about me?” she asked archly.
“Yes.”