He pictured her inside it, but he couldn’t even imagine what she might be thinking. Or feeling.
With the bond gone, he shouldn’t have cared—not like this. Gritting his teeth and clenching his hands into fists couldn’t suppress the urge itching through his veins. It didn’t make sense. Damn it, hestillwanted… To explain. Comfort her. Hold her.
Every damn thing he’d blamed the bond for.
It wasn’t like he didn’t have a frame of reference for how thisshouldhave gone. When Emma died, the pain had nearly hollowed him, but he had still been able to find shreds of himself within the wreckage. A hint of the person he’d been before.
This time…
A part of him still howled that the woman with the unusual scent belonged to him in a way that couldn’t be erased—bond or no bond.
She washis, always. From that very first day she’d stepped onto his property, the wolf in him had craved her. Claimed her.
All along, he’d fed himself excuses and lies, but the grim truth was that he’d never had a choice. The moment he saw her desperate and in pain, there had been no stopping his instinctive reaction.
The worst part? He would do it all over again.
In a heartbeat.
“So, what’s the game plan?” Micha demanded, sounding miles away. “Because, one would hope that, by us going up to Lukka’s front door, you would have a strategy for how to announce yourself, and we wouldn’t just barge in like lambs to the slaughter…” He laughed weakly. “Youdohave a plan, right?”
Bill gritted his teeth, fighting to refocus on the task at hand. His doubt, or whatever this feeling was, could wait. First things first.
“The ‘game plan’ is that we aren’t going straight to Black Mountain. Not yet,” he said. “First, we need to make a detour. I know a neutral piece of territory where we can camp for a night or two. Then we’ll decide what to do next from there.”
“That sounds…risky,” Micha replied. He wasn’t even trying to hide his nerves. He sat hunched over the wheel, his eyes bug wide. Every few seconds, he slammed on the brake as if afraid to touch the speed limit.
Bill’s one consolation was that he might not have long to reconcile his feelings toward Loren if he died in a fiery car crash. Tentative driving aside, though, the kid had a point.
They couldn’t just barge into Lukka’s territory unannounced. Surprisingly, Bill had yet to think that far ahead. His gut told him that Lukka would be plotting a long, drawn-out plan to avoid confronting him directly. That’s what the bastard excelled at—dirty tricks and underhanded lies. Not to mention Kyle. His thirst for misplaced revenge would play right into Lukka’s hands. Bill had more than learned his lesson with Loren to never underestimate a lycan, especially one with nothing to lose.
Rather than dwell on the impending confrontation, he decided to change tack. “Tell me whatyouthink we should do?” he asked.
“Well…” Micha cleared his throat. “I think your best option would be to meet with Loreck Eislander first. He’s the main one gunning for your throat, and I can have your back. You didn’t kill anyone who didn’t deserve it. With him convinced, Lukka won’t have a real reason to persecute you outright. Other than…well, Loren.”
“At least that’s one crime taken care of,” Bill said tiredly. “Loren’s broken the bond on her own, and I’ve already told her everything. There is nothing to punish me for.”
“What?” Micha nearly drove off the road. Only his reflexes allowed him to regain control of the truck in time. “Sorry! I mean, wow. She broke it? Seriously? I’ve never heard of that before. That’s…”
“Not important,” Bill said. “Whatisimportant is keeping her out of my mess.”
“Well, the no mate thing helps,” Micha admitted. “Then it’s Lukka and you on even footing. Though, I guess you don’t really have a reason to fight him, if your mate isn’t in question.”
“Oh, I can think of a few reasons,” Bill said quietly. “I’ve thought about it, and I’ve decided to challenge him outright. For my freedom…and for the pack.”
“What?” This time, Micha slammed on the brake so hard they both almost went flying through the windshield.
“Maybe I should drive,” Bill said with a wince. Still, he couldn’t deny that Micha’s shock was at least partly warranted. He scarcely believed it himself.
He was going home. Not to cut ties, but to reassert himself if possible and take control. Hearing it out loud only cemented how insane a plan it really was. Just twenty-four hours ago, he would have considered the possibility unthinkable. But here he was…
And there wasn’t an ounce of doubt in his body. For years, he’d been so hellbent on running that he never stopped to ask himself why. Why had he spent so long on the outside, determined never to look back?
Emma was merely part of the reason. The whole truth was far more complicated. By failing her, he had failed Lukas and his teachings. In his mind, he’d lost the right to ever lead. Maybe taking up the role of a rogue had been his way of punishing himself?
But now…
The past was irrelevant. If his years on the outside had taught him one thing, it was that the world stopped for no one. By shirking the role of Alpha, he’d told himself that he was the only one who deserved to suffer—that he had been sparing the others. Only now could he admit the truth.