His eyes were downcast, his jaw clenched. That seemed to be a lesson he had learned the hard way.
“What is it like?” Loren asked. “Living with the pack?”
He shot her a questioning glance. Then he leaned against the counter and inclined his head. Just when she thought he might not answer, he sighed.
“It could be considered regimented by your standards, I suppose. Everyone has a place there. A role to play. Much like our lycan and human forms, we carry on the dichotomy in our daily lives. You might be surprised by how…normal our lives are for the most part. By day, some work in a communal kitchen or in private fields to grow vegetables. At night, we partake in various rituals to embrace our primal side. We develop very little of the land, to leave most of it untouched. Wild. The animals we hunt have been born and bred within our borders but roam freely.”
“You miss it.” She didn’t know what possessed her to say as much. Still, his curt nod gave confirmation.
“It’s hard not to. I grew up there. It wasn’t perfect, but I can’t say it was terrible, either.”
The question of why he left in the first place was poised on her tongue. Just as she gathered up the nerve to ask it, a shrill sound pierced the quiet.
Bill stiffened, warily eyeing the landline phone attached to the wall near the fridge. He moved cautiously, reaching for the device as though it were a poisonous snake ready to strike.
“Hello?” Almost instantly, his expression softened, and his tone lost the hard edge. “Yes, sir. I’ll make it in today. I may not be able to stay long… Yes, due to that family emergency I told you about.”
She recognized that tone of voice—the one he used while in uniform. Apparently, a “family emergency” was the lie that had allowed him to miss work the past few days. When he hung up, he raked a hand through his hair.
“I need to go into the station today for a few hours. Just to tie up loose ends. But while I’m there… I would like your permission.”
Her belly flipped at his serious expression. “For what?”
“When I reviewed your file, I did so intending to keep your privacy intact. But things have changed. We need to know anything I can glean from your past. Anything.”
Deep down, Loren knew she should have been horrified by the prospect. Something bad lurked within those memories. Horrific. But when it came to recalling exactly what—or feeling the fear at full force… She couldn’t.
So, she consented with a curt nod. In the same instance, she blurted out a question that seemed just as pressing as her murky past. “Do lycans feel emotions differently?”
He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Ever since my father… Fred Connors. Ever since he died, I haven’t been able to feel… What I should feel. I can’t even remember what happened.”
She tried…
Nothing came to mind. Not even the night before his death.
“It’s shock,” Bill insisted. He stood fully upright and headed for the hall. “I’ll get dressed and head out. In the meantime, I’ll leave some exercises you and the others can work on. Basic training.”
In other words, nothing requiring a lycan form.
“Is it time for breakfast?”
Loren turned to the living room as Micha appeared in the doorway, rubbing at his eyes. Without a word, she headed to the fridge and made him a few tuna sandwiches, along with one for Naomi.
By the time Bill returned downstairs, fully dressed in his uniform, all three house guests had eaten and were waiting awkwardly in the kitchen.
“I need to go out for a few hours,” he said. “Naomi, you should go check in with your parents. While you’re at it, see if you have any clothing you can spare for you and Loren. Then come back here. Micha, you and Loren run a few laps around the property. Stay away from the boundary. You can answer whatever questions she has, but try to stay on topic.”
“Yes, sir,” Micha replied with a mock salute.
On topic,Loren assumed, meant “no personal history” regarding McGoven or anyone else involved in this strange saga.
Not even ten minutes later, she and Micha were traipsing across the fields. Or, more accurately, Micha was traipsing while she struggled to catch up.
“Any questions?” he chirped. “Ask away! I’m an open book. We can talk about anything from moon cycles to pack dynamics—”
“What is a mate?”