And even more confused.
“I wouldn’t be asking you if I could ask him,” she admitted in a small voice.
Her imploring stare seemed to tip Micha over the edge.
“Okay, I’ll cave.” He inched closer and cocked his head conspiratorially toward hers. “Rumor has it that he was set to take over when the old Alpha, Lukas, died—not Lukka, the guy’s own son. Then there was an attack by hunters on the outskirts of the property. McGoven wasn’t fast enough to respond, and as a result, his own mate was…” He grimaced and drew a finger across his throat. “McGoven stepped down after that and left the pack altogether. I’m not sure what exactly he did to become a rogue, but he’s been on the outside ever since. I don’t know if he could return to Black Mountain, even if he wanted to.”
Mate.He said that word with the same reverence as another term Loren heard in reference to McGoven. A wife. Emma.
“He left behind a lot to move all the way out here,” Micha added. “I don’t think I can name anyone else who would willingly walk away from the position of leader in exchange for…this.”
“Why are you here?” she asked, curious. “You haven’t gone back to the pack either. Does that make you a rogue, too?”
Micha blinked as if the idea hadn’t crossed his mind. “I don’t know. Though, I will admit that it seems pretty interesting here so far. Things in the pack can be so boring. Safe, ya know.We don’t have nightly ambushes, that’s for damn sure.”
In response to her blank expression, he flashed a sheepish grin. “Not funny?”
Loren shook her head, thinking of McGoven out pacing the fields. “Not funny.”
“Well, I’ll tell you whatisfunny,” Micha began. He stood back and ran a hand through his thick hair while his eyes flashed wickedly. “You’re right. I’m kind of a rogue myself. I never thought about it until now, I guess.” Grinning, he puffed out his chest and placed his hands on his hips like a caricature of Superman. “I don’t really belong to a pack either. Lukka hasn’t accepted me fully yet, meaning I’m more or less a free agent.”
“Why not?” Loren asked.
Given how McGoven stressed the importance ofherjoining a pack,she couldn’t understand how Micha could be so nonchalant about not belonging to one.
His cheerful grin slipped. “It takes a while to integrate as an outsider. I came in on kind of a trial basis. I don’t have a ranking yet—a place in the hierarchy. I’m more or less at the beck and call of everyone else.”
He hid it well, but the sadness in his voice was evident. Loren recalled what little of his past he revealed during their ill-fated trip to Black Mountain. “You said that your dad was an Alpha?”
Micha nodded. “I’m a transplant. From Virginia, born and raised. My sister and I belonged to our father’s pack, but he died.”
His tortured expression gave her the feeling that he had fonder memories of his father than she did of Fred Connors. Considering how hazy her memories were, that wasn’t much of a stretch.
“I’m sorry—”
“Don’t be,” he said tightly. “It’slife.He ran the pack fairly. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Let’s just say that after his death, the transition didn’t go so smoothly. When he died, I got pushed out, but I was too young to put up much of a fight—” He made a “so what”gesture with his hands.
“My sister and I got separated. I came north, she stayed south—didn’t want to leave our dad’s territory—and I’ve been kind of bouncing around since then.”
The whole time he spoke, he kept his smile, but as the minutes wore on, Loren figured it was more out of habit than anything else. His pain was obvious.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated. As cruel as her life had been, she had no idea what that felt like—having a family member out there, lost.
“Don’t be. Violet can take care of herself—” He chuckled. “I know I should probably say something along the lines of—you remind me of her—but you don’t. You’re the complete opposite. She’s loud and bossy, and she wouldneverin a million years let someone—”
He broke off abruptly and changed tack. “She’s a firecracker, and you’re not.”
“So, what am I then?” Loren fully expected him to drop some lame, cheesy line to make her feel better.
“You’re different,” he said finally. He inclined his head, casting her a searching glance. “More like a brushfire, I think. Slow to start, but in the end just as bright as a firecracker.” He winked, and Loren couldn’t help the smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth.
“Ah! A smile!” He reached out to trail the length of her chin with the flat of his thumb. “I didn’t think you had one in ya—”
Don’t let him touch you like that!The thought tore through her mind, like a slap. She flinched, jerking on the balls of her feet.
“You okay?”
“F-Fine,” she stammered. Inside, she felt anythingbutfine. Her heart was pounding, and her skin prickled where he touched her. But not in a good way. Not good at all.