“Will do. If anything changes, let me know,” I say, hoping and praying that something kicks off in the next couple of hours, stopping us from going back.
We’ve still got another week before school starts. We could easily stay here longer. Well, we could if it weren’t for Queen Cassandra’s bloody birthday.
“See you soon,” he says, his tone telling me that there is no room for movement here.
He hangs up before I get to say anything more. The second the silence falls, my arm drops, my heart plummeting right along with it.
“Fuck,” I breathe, staring out across the sea, the early morning sun making the waves glitter with the promise of a new day. All the while darkness claws at my insides as my world begins to crumble around me.
Driving back into London is effectively signing a death certificate on everything we’ve built here. There’s going to be no more late-night naked swims with my girl. No more dirty showers or lazy mornings. There’s going to be no more… her.
Dropping my head into my hands, I squeeze my eyes closed as I fight to keep hold of everything I’ve learned about myself here. The strength Calli has given me to face a few of my demons and accept her help.
How am I meant to go back to my flat without that? Without her soft smile, her gentle touch, her desperate cries for more.
I have no idea how long I sit there, drowning in my own sorrow and self-pity. But the sun is much higher in the sky, and it started to burn my skin a while ago.
I half expected her to wake and come find me, but there’s been no sign of her.
Aware that Evan wants her home sooner rather than later, I eventually push to my feet and head for the house. Each step is painful, my heart emptier and my soul darker with every step I force myself to take.
By the time I slip into the living room, I’ve built my walls back up so high I swear nothing can touch me.
I become the vacant, empty version of myself that I’ve been for so long I’d forgotten the boy I once was even existed.
My steps falter as I cross the threshold into the bedroom and find Calli still fast asleep, hugging the covers to her front, exposing the entire length of her body to me.
My mouth waters as I run my eyes over the dip in her waist and down to her round, delectable arse.
My cock stirs in anticipation, but I already know we’re not going there.
After last night, this has come at the perfect time.
Our last time together is going to leave her with the memory of what a brutal, selfish, destructive cunt I really am.
It’s how she should remember me. It’s how she needs to. Because if she doesn’t hate me, if she tries to fight for me and allows me to even believe for a second that we could be something outside of our little slice of paradise here, then I’ll break and do something stupid like go to Evan, begging to let me have his daughter. Doing so would be akin to writing my own death warrant.
Fuck.
How am I meant to just walk away from her?
I’ve trained my entire life to be strong and powerful. To always come out of any situation as the winner. And I have. Up until this point in my life, nothing has beaten me.
But then there’s her.
My angel.
My solace.
My everything.
Now, I’m just going to have to figure out a way to carve out a future without her in it.
For her.
Because despite what she tries to make me believe…
She deserves better than me.
Locking the last bit of Nikolas away, I drag on my mask and set about doing what I need to do.
My priority has always been her. Keeping her safe and protected. And this right now is no different.
“I’m sorry, Angel.”