“Are you at least having fun while you’re there?” Beth asked, as I smiled.
“I’m certainly not living like a nun. I’ve had fun, but I’ve been working a lot as well. I started making new desserts for the restaurant this week and they’re doing great. It’s been nice helping at the lodge after being away for so long.” I smiled as I spoke, knowing I loved it here.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself, but it’s time to come home, Avery. New York misses you and you are going to rock it when you get back here.” Someone else spoke in the background and Beth responded as irritation washed over my skin. “I have to go. The appetizer is ready to come out of the oven.”
I wanted to ask why someone else couldn’t handle it, but I knew Beth well. She wanted to do everything at her parties, and it was hard to get too much of her attention. “Have fun, Beth. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy New Year if I don’t see you.”
“You’ll be home by then. I love you!”
“I love you right back,” I told her before ending the call.
I didn’t feel any better after the phone call with Beth. She’d never understand my consideration about staying in Lake Placid. I felt like I didn’t have anyone to talk to about my concerns here.
I couldn’t tell my brother or my mom anything about the guys, which is what might hold me back from leaving this place. I couldn’t tell my casual acquaintances at the lodge anything because of the risk if the news getting back to Jefferson.
I could talk to the guys themselves, but I suspected none of them would want me to leave. Charlie obviously felt strongly about it, even though he’d never tell me to give up my dreams.
Jack had his dreams of being in The Olympics and I’d never hold him back from that. Just like he wouldn’t hold me back from returning to New York, even though we cared for each other.
I cared for each man differently, but equally strongly. They offered me something I needed, and the three of them made me feel complete.
It wasn’t the norm in society and may never be accepted by anyone I knew. Did I let that influence my decision and return to New York, hoping to forget them?
New York City just didn’t feel like home anymore. I didn’t miss the constant action, people, or even the vibe. I’d grown to love the quiet here again and looked around as I headed back to the parking lot.
Sure, it was freezing here, but that was a part of the beauty. It made Peaks Lodge as successful as it always had been.
It supported my brother and his growing family, as well as my mom. They’d given their lives to this place. I knew that the earnings from the lodge also sent both Jefferson and me to college. I had very little in student loans. His education brought him right back here, but that’s what my brother always wanted.
Jefferson just wanted this job, his wife, and now his daughter, in a few months. He lived simply and happily and worked hard to make everything work for our family.
Did I want a family? I’d never considered it when I dreamed of a life in the city moving a million miles an hour. I certainly never talked about it with Simon, since we were so obsessed with opening a restaurant and making it big.
Come to think about it, I never talked about it at all. That was always Jefferson’s plan, and the pregnancy was no surprise to any of us. Polly and my brother just fit from the day they met.
I chuckled, thinking of having a family in my situation. How would that even work? Would I share a baby with each man and work out a custody plan? That felt ridiculous to me.
That wasn’t going to happen. I was on birth control, and I had taken extra measures to prevent a pregnancy sometimes. I wasn’t nearly ready for something that life changing and I’d be happy with any time spent with my men. It’s all I needed, and every moment meant so much to me.
As I approached the lodge, I took in all the lights I helped Ben hang on the various trees and bushes. It looked so beautiful, and I tried to remember how much I loved New York at Christmas.
It didn’t compare to this setting with the lodge in the background, softly lit inside for the guests.
I knew I should go home and rest, but I didn’t want to see Mom. She’d been so happy about the interview earlier today and talked about it until I left for the restaurant. In her eyes, that was still my dream, and nothing changed.
I loved my mother, but sitting down and talking about my three reasons to stay didn’t sound like a positive conversation to me. Much like Jefferson, she married my father young, and they were in love until the day he died. There was nobody else for her, even to this day.
How would she ever understand that I possibly loved three men at the same time?
I shoved my hands in my pockets, tormented by my possible decision. I felt certain they’d offer me the job after the interview, but nothing was official yet. There was plenty of time for me to torment myself.
Luna was open to life. She’d tell me to love my men if it made me happy. That was Luna’s goal in life: to be happy. She’d never worry about what anyone thought of her if it pushed the boundaries of tradition and just go for it.
Maybe I needed to visit her again soon and talk this out. I felt like I had fewer genuine friends by the moment tonight. Despite that thought, I knew I had people in my circle that cared for me and wanted the best for me. It was them that made me want to stay and settle here in Lake Placid.
I took a seat on one of the wooden benches to think, feeling I needed a little more time out here. I felt a little hungry but didn’t want to go into the lodge to eat and most definitely didn’t want to eat with Mom tonight.
I let out a sigh, hoping to figure this out soon. How could my life change so much in a few short weeks? I came here excited to leave again as soon as I found something to take me back to New York. I wasn’t looking to get attached to anything or anyone here that I couldn’t leave behind.