I nodded. That approach just might work. “It would likely work better than me trying to go down on one knee. First, I might not get back up. Second, I’ve never been one to beg for what I want.”
“Unless someone has table scraps,” Gage joked.
“You’re a butt,” I said, pulling myself off the couch.
He bowed. “At your service.”
I headed out, managed to get myself in my truck, and drove straight to the jewelry store owned by a bear shifter named Lucia. I told her what happened and what I wanted.
“How soon do you want it?” she asked me.
“How soon can you make it for me?”
She thought about it. “I have some parts that would work well for what you want. Can you give me a couple of hours?”
I nodded, grateful that she was willing to do what I asked in such a short time. “This may sound like a crazy request, but do you, by any chance, have a couch that I could crash on while I wait?”
She pursed her lips. “You’re right. Normally, that would sound crazy. But we’ve all heard what you did and what happened. Nap away,” she said, pointing to a couch in their employee’s lounge. She shut the door and turned off the lights.
I passed out immediately and dreamt of little wolf pups.
The next thing I knew, Lucia was gently shaking me.
She held out a ring.
“Perfect.”
20
Elise
Every two seconds, I was second-guessing myself. Did I do the right thing?
On the one hand, I could have stayed and confessed my love for him and waited for his response. He could either have said, “I’m in love with you, too,” or, “You’re an amazing woman, and I think very highly of you, but I’m not ready for this kind of relationship. It’s me, not you. But we can still be friends.”
Everyone kept telling me how brave I was, but to be honest, I felt like a bloody coward. Jared was the most important thing in the world to me, more important than my own life, and I ran away like a dog with my tail tucked between my legs. No pun intended.
Sitting on my back deck, watching the ducks play in the pond behind my house, I thought wistfully about our time together in Iran. On the surface, I was terrified the entire time. Yet, deep down inside of me, I had complete trust in Jared. I knew we would get out of the situation safely. Correction, I knew that I would. Somehow, I had pictured Jared as invincible, so I never considered that he could be hurt or killed. It never entered my mind.
Jared had taught me so many things about myself that I never knew. Of course, he taught me about sex and how much pleasure it brought. He taught me that it was okay to touch and pleasure myself. I would never be able to let another man touch me, so the memories of Jared and my own pleasuring would have to get me through this lifetime.
He taught me that I was much stronger and braver than I had ever thought.
Not brave enough to get your butt off your deck and go get the man you want,I chided myself.
I had never backed down from any challenge. I had never backed down from any person or any hard task. Yet, I was afraid of rejection for the first time in my life and had crawled into my little hole and was hiding.
A part of me thought that, eventually, I wouldn’t be able to sit here without trying, and eventually, I would go out and tell him that I was in love with him and that there was nothing he could say or do to change that. Then, there was the part of me that hoped that he would come here and tell me that he was in love with me. Another part of me was so confused, worried, and annoyed with myself that I didn’t know what the heck to think.
After a few hours of this, my doorbell rang. I figured it would be Dad coming to check on me. I may have been an adult, but he was worried about me. That was fair, though, as I was the only thing he had left in his life.
“Come in, it’s open,” I yelled.
Normally, Dad would just come in. Instead, the doorbell rang again.
Sighing heavily, I got up and walked to the door.
Flinging it open, I said, “Can I help—”