No, not her, I thought to myself. The town may welcome me back but not her. I saw it in her eyes tonight.
"Was it only the vamp's scent that drew your attention?" Killian asked, and I shook my head at the nosy bastard. "I know you two have history."
“Exactly,” I grumbled. “History.”
Killian shrugged. “Okay, but word of advice, Diana loves her. Stay away from Marian if things aren't going to be civil between you two. You don't want to anger our Luna, okay? She's protective of the pack and Marian's…."
"Family," I finished his statement for him, and he leaned over the railing, his arms resting on the iron. "I know."
I knew of Marian and Diana’s friendship. They were close before I left town but judging by the warm welcome I got from Diana when we first met, she didn't know about Marian and me. Diana left town with her pack before Marian and I got together and then broke up, but I was surprised Marian hadn't told her anything.
That wouldn't last long, though, especially since I was back.
“How’s Nicoli doing?" Killian asked, and I tilted my head back to look at the dark sky above. "Will he be coming home seeing that you're back?"
"He's okay, and he'll only be coming home to visit," I answered. "He'll be graduating soon, and he's created a life where he is. It would be unfair to drag him back here when he will graduate and leave for college soon."
Killian bobbed his head with understanding. “Makes sense.”
I'd spoken to my son this morning, and he was excited about visiting soon. He was also eager to go on an upcoming class trip to Cambodia. He was a brilliant kid and the very opposite of me. He was at the top of his class, held in high regard by his teachers and peers, and was keen on becoming a doctor.
After joining the force, I enrolled Nikoli in boarding school, and leaving him behind was something that stabbed at my heart daily. We spoke often, but I'd missed every award ceremony he'd had, and there were many.
I missed his chess matches and debates, his first date and party. I missed it all, but I told myself he was safe, and that offered me a shred of comfort that I wasn't such a horrible father.
Nikoli never complained. Not once did he complain that I wasn't physically present, which made me feel worse.
"I missed out on so much," I said, and it took a second before I realized I'd said those words out loud.
Killian didn't say anything, though. He kept looking at the forest, and I was thankful for that. When I walked away, he finally spoke, and I stopped.
“No matter what, you’re an incredible father, Dorian,” he said. “And I know Nikoli knows that.”
I didn't reply, but I was thankful for Killian's kind words. I walked away and left the packhouse During my walk home, all I could think about was Marian.
Was she dating a vampire?
Could I handle seeing her with another man, let alone a vermin like a vampire? I growled at how sick the thought made me feel, but I’d lost my chance with her, and no matter the species, if she was happy, I'd have to accept it.
I made my bed, and now I'd have to lie in it.