He stood abruptly and reached for his wallet. He peeled off a twenty and threw it on the table, not bothering to wait for their food. If he was going to have this come-to-Jesus moment with Payton, he damn sure wasn’t going to do it in a place where he could be overheard by people he had to face on a daily basis.
He reached for her hand before he thought better of it. She hesitated a brief moment before sliding her fingers into his palm. They walked out of the restaurant, him tugging her behind him in his haste to get out.
“Where are we going?” she asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“Somewhere private,” he muttered.
She shrugged and focused her attention out the window as he drove through town and hit the highway north into the country. A few miles out, he turned onto a dirt road leading up to an old logging site.
“This must be pretty serious,” she said dryly. “Planning to off me and hide the body?”
He pulled over and cut the engine before turning in his seat to face her. “Very funny. I don’t remember you being such a sarcastic wench.”
She eyed him angelically, the baby blue eyes a fitting accompaniment to her look of innocence. Though he was fast finding out she wasn’t the sweet little sixteen-year-old he’d known.
“So why is our history such a big issue?” she asked.
With her sitting across from him, staring expectantly at him, he suddenly felt like a complete moron. It was obvious that she didn’t have the same hang-ups he did.
“Payton, I hurt you. Badly. I was clumsy, inconsiderate and I ruined what should have been a terrific experience for you. It was embarrassing as hell, and it’s something I’d just as soon try to forget. When I saw you again, my first instinct was to run as far as I could in the other direction.”
“You did run in the opposite direction,” she pointed out.
He huffed in irritation.
Did she take nothing seriously?
She stared at him a long moment, her face scrunching up more with each passing second. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
Knowing there was only one way to get his point across with the least amount of chitchat and skirting around the issue, he reached across the seat and grabbed her hand. He guided it between his legs, ignoring her expression of surprise.
“Let me put it into terms you can’t possibly misunderstand. You feel that? Nothing. I may as well be a fucking eunuch. You’re a gorgeous woman. I should be a walking hard-on around you, instead I’ll likely have to shove my finger up my ass to push my dick back out of hiding.”
She giggled. First a stifled sound like she was trying valiantly to control her mirth. Then she lost all control and began laughing uncontrollably.
“I’m glad you find this so damn amusing,” he said through gritted teeth as he released her hand.
She wiped tears from her eyes then dissolved into laughter again. Wes heaved a long-suffering sigh and stared out the windshield as Payton attempted to collect herself.
She wheezed a few times then tucked her hair back behind her ear. “Wes, tell me you haven’t been worked up all these years over the time we had sex.”
He shot her a dirty glance. “Of course I haven’t been hung up on it for the last twelve years. It’s just that, damn it, Payton, I hurt you.”
The laughter disappeared and her eyes softened. She reached out to touch his arm. “Wes, it was my first time. Of course it hurt. But that’s not what I remember about it.”
His eyebrows went up. “It’s not? What do you remember then?”
Her eyes twinkled merrily, and she smiled that sweet smile that made his gut ache.
“So that’s what all that crap was about last night? You were embarrassed because of what happened between us in high school?”
“It wasn’t one of my prouder moments,” he defended. “I realize it sounds stupid, but it was pretty humiliating.” He still cringed when he thought too long about it.
“It’s not stupid. I think it’s sweet,” she said, her smile growing broader.
Sweet? Hell, he’d almost prefer humiliation.
Her face took on a dreamy look, and the smile turned wistful. “What I remember is that we were young. I was nervous and excited all at the same time, and you were so sweet and patient with me.”
Patient? Clearly they were remembering separate events. He’d acted with no finesse, and premature ejaculation didn’t even begin to cover the description of his performance.
He cleared his throat. “Uhm, Payton, are you sure you’re remembering the time you had sex with me?”
She laughed. “A girl remembers her first time, and she certainly remembers the guy who was her first.”
“I wasn’t patient,” he said gruffly.
“Yes, you were,” she chided. “You were incredibly sweet. You said all the right things. That I was beautiful. You made sure I was with you every step of the way.”
“I did?”
She nodded. “I don’t know what kind of messed-up event you remember, but it’s obvious our perceptions of it are very different. Was it the best sex I’ve ever had? No. But it wasn’t a disaster. In fact, for it being my first time, I don’t think it could have been much better.”
He swallowed the knot in his throat and went for the final humiliating factor. “It was my first time too,” he said grudgingly.
Her eyes widened in surprise. “Really? I was your first?”
“Yeah.”
She smiled. “I think that’s—”
“If you say sweet, I swear I’ll push you out of the truck,” he growled.
A peal of laughter rang out. “Okay, I think it’s cool. That better?”
He smiled for the first time. “I guess you think this is completely ridiculous.”
She reached over and cupped his cheek in her palm. “I think a lot of things. I think I’m flattered by the fact you were so concerned that you’d hurt me. I think you’ve turned into a great guy, not surprising since I always thought you were positively dreamy.” She winked before continuing on. “But ridiculous? No, I don’t think you’re ridiculous.”
Her eyes narrowed until they became half-lidded. She viewed him under a veil