I laugh because I know she’s not much of a skater, or she wasn’t six years ago. “I guess that means you haven’t improved your skating skills in the last six years.” She shakes her head.
“No, but Nicky would love it. She loves skating, and of course, she’s a natural.” She doesn’t say my daughter takes after me, but I hear it loud and clear, and my emotions swell, the pride I don’t deserve yet takes over, threatens to overwhelm.
“Great.” My voice sounds gruff, and I clear my throat. “Then it’s a date.”
“Okay, but, Logan, we need to take our time telling Nicky who you are. This is a meeting only. I don’t want to shock her.”
I nod, schooling my face to hide the disappointment, knowing I’m an ass for picturing myself taking over as Dad from the minute I meet the girl. Hell, I don’t have a clue how to be a dad. I only know I want to do it. Badly. But she’s just lost the only dad she’s ever known, and I need to respect that, to keep reminding myself of that no matter how painful the knowledge is.
“Sure. But we can’t take too long. I don’t want to mislead her.”
“It’ll be okay if I introduce you as an old friend of mine. She knows I’m from here, and she’s met … another old friend, so that will make sense to her, and it won’t be misleading because it’s true.”
Skepticism rears up, and I let it show. Resentment hides underneath. Because I know who thatold friendis that she’s talking about.
“You mean Sharon? You’re still friends with her?”
She juts her chin and says, “Yes, I am. Of course.”
Even though she lied to you. Even though she was the one who broke us up six years ago.
I don’t speak my mind because I want to keep our relationship civil, and talking about Sharon will surely bring about an argument. I can sense it by the look in her eyes. Know it by the fact that they’re still friends. But all the pleasure I’d been feeling at seeing June again, being in close proximity, fades, and I remember my own words. We can’t pretend we’re those same kids madly in love the way we were, can’t expect to pick up where we left off—or rather just before we left off—too much water under the bridge.
But there’s also the undeniable flare of emotions and attraction signaling too much unfinished business. Too many unresolved feelings running deep, now coming to the surface.
Of course, there’s an unresolved business between us—and her name is Nicky. But is there more than that? My senses' acute response to everything about her tells me there may be more left between us. Maybe more story left to be written.
Shit. I can’t afford to go there. Not with Nicky’s welfare in the balance. Taking care of her, making sure she’s secure in having me as her father, regardless of how things are between June and me, is the most important thing.It has to be this way.
Shit.
We exchange numbers with a cool blanket of reserve dominating the proceedings, and after the briefest pause because I know it’s time to leave, but it just doesn’t feel right, I turn away.
“I’ll call you to confirm. Say hello to your parents for me.” I push through the door and leave, a bottle-rocket of emotions sizzling inside me. Torn between nausea and confused giddy dizziness, a sweat breaks out on my forehead as I get into my car.
I have a little girl. June’s little girl. We have a daughter.
The realignment of my universe sends a wave of panic accompanied by nausea through me again. Shit. How the hell am I going to concentrate on hockey. I’d better find a way and fast. In time for the game tomorrow. Coach is already watching me, and I have something to prove this year to my new team. I need to justify the money they’re paying me or risk having my option dropped.
And now that I have Nicky here, it’s more important than ever for me to stay with the Boston Brawlers.