damaged mind could change at any time. He could morph into yet another person as unrecognizable as the one he was now, eroding even further the person he used to be. The sheer force of his memories could end up destroying him. He could be living in a cardboard box again. He could be…alone, with nothing and no one. As the anxiety he was feeling built, he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths.
Just keep it together, Decker. Just keep it together.
“You look like you could use this.”
He opened his eyes and saw Jamison standing there. She had two cups of takeout coffee. She handed one to him and sat down on the bench.
“How’d you know where I was?” he asked, rubbing his eyes again and not looking at her.
“I have my little sources,” she said, smiling and then taking a sip of her coffee. “It’s pretty here.”
“Is it?” asked Decker.
She glanced at him. “You look like you have a lot on your mind.”
“Just the usual.”
“There is nothing usual about you.”
He drank his coffee and said, “So Melvin moving here? Him and Brown a couple? What about you?”
“What about me what?”
Trying to keep his voice nonchalant and failing miserably, Decker said, “You going to stick with the FBI?”
“Are you?”
“I don’t have anything else in my life, Alex.”
“I think you have a lot more in your life than you think.”
“So you’ll stay?”
“If you do, I do.”
He looked at her strangely. “That simple?”
She nodded.
“Why?” he asked.
“I’m surprised you have to ask, Decker.”
“What do you mean?”
“That’s what I meant when I said I had your back.”
She tapped her coffee cup against his, sat back, and closed her eyes.
Decker watched her for a few moments and then turned to look at the river.
This time he kept his eyes wide open.
Acknowledgments
To Michelle, the #1 in my life.
To Michael Pietsch, for always piloting the ship with a deft touch.
To Lindsey Rose, Andy Dodds, Karen Torres, Anthony Goff, Bob Castillo, Michele McGonigle, Andrew Duncan, Christopher Murphy, Dave Epstein, Tracy Dowd, Brian McLendon, Matthew Ballast, Lukas Fauset, Deb Futter, Beth deGuzman, Thomas Louie, Oscar Stern, Michele Karas, Stephanie Sirabian, Brigid Pearson, Flamur Tonuzi, Blanca Aulet, Joseph Benincase, Tiffany Sanchez, Ali Cutrone, Mary Urban, Barbara Slavin, Anne Twomey, Sean Ford, Rachel Hairston, and everyone at Grand Central Publishing, for going the extra mile for me.
To Aaron and Arleen Priest, Lucy Childs Baker, Lisa Erbach Vance, Mitch Hoffman (and thanks for another fine editing job), Frances Jalet-Miller, John Richmond, and Matt Belford, for being great friends and advocates.
To Anthony Forbes Watson, Jeremy Trevathan, Trisha Jackson, Katie James, Alex Saunders, Sara Lloyd, Amy Lines, Stuart Dwyer, Geoff Duffield, Jonathan Atkins, Anna Bond, Sarah Willcox, Leanne Williams, Sarah McLean, Charlotte Williams, and Neil Lang at Pan Macmillan, for continuing to lift me to stellar heights overseas.
To Praveen Naidoo and his team at Pan Macmillan in Australia, for a fantastic job.
To Caspian Dennis and Sandy Violette, for being so wonderful.
To Kyf Brewer and Orlagh Cassidy, for your terrific audio performances.
To Steven Maat and the entire Bruna team, for doing a great job.
To Roland Ottewell, for a terrific copyediting job.
And to Kristen White and Michelle Butler, for keeping Columbus Rose sailing straight and true.