“What if she’s Finn’s?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “She’s not.”
“But just humor me. What if she is Finn’s?”
“I doubt it, but if she were Finn’s, I’d at least try to tell him.”
I smile sadly at her. “If she’s his, he would want to know. He’s a good man. He’d show up.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
We both grow quiet as I contemplate that possibility and what it could mean for us. Maybe I’m a petty man, but I can’t see myself with her while she shares a child with Finn. My stomach gets hot just at the thought of the lives they would share. Then there’s the much bigger ‘what if.’ What if sharing a daughter were to bring them closer together and then they ended up trying to make a family together? That would kill me for sure. Watching my best friend with the love of my life.
“Hey.” Sofia brings a hand up to my cheek. “Get out of your head, Bren. I’m sure she’s yours.”
“How can you be so sure?”
She shrugs. “Call it a mother’s intuition.” She bites the inside of her lip before speaking again. “Do you want her to be yours?” she asks almost shyly.
“Yes,” I say, not hesitating so much as a second, and Sofia beams up at me.
“Really?”
I close my eyes and draw Sofia into my side. “I want this. You. Us. Addy. A family. It’s what I wanted then, and it’s what I want now. But I need to know. You understand?”
“I do,” she says. “Now let’s play out that scenario. The paternity test comes back showing you are her dad. Then what?”
“Let’s take this one step at a time.”
“No, Bren. If she’s yours, I’m afraid you’ll bring up...”
“What?” I ask.
“Old questions.”
“You mean, I’ll propose again?”
She hesitates before answering. “Yeah. I’m afraid you’ll propose again.”
“You don’t want me to?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “I told you then I’d never change my mind about marriage. And it’s true. I haven’t changed my mind.”
“Can we have a life together, though? A family? Just us? No one else?”
“I’ve always wanted that with you, Bren. You just couldn’t see it.”
“Wanted? Past tense?”
“Still do,” she amends.
* * *
Addy and Sofia stay over,and Addy sleeps between us on my California king-sized bed. I don’t sleep a wink, worried I’ll roll over and crush her, even though Sofia reassures me I won’t. So I spend the night awake, watching my girls sleep.
They both snore.