“You’re lying.”
“No. I am grateful,I am, to you for helping me when you did. I know that if you hadn’t been there when the infection set in, I’d probably be dead. I’ll always be grateful for that. But Chema’s here now. I won’t be alone, so you don’t have to worry.”
Rory’s jaw sets, and he drops his hand from my face. He glances out the window past me and his nostrils flare. I know he sees Chema behind me. Then he focuses his gaze back on me.
“I know you don’t want to hear it, but you have to. Valentina Almonte, I am so fucking in love with you.”
My mouth dries up. I knew he wanted to start a serious relationship with me, and I know I love him, but I never imagined this outcome—that he already loved me back.
“Do you think maybe, your compassionate and caretaking nature as a doctor is bleeding over and clouding your feelings?”
“No. I love you, Valentina. Not sick Valentina. Not the athlete Valentina. None of that fucking matters. I loveyou. The person inside.”
“Um, I’m sorry, I don’t . . .”
“You don’t what?”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Just the truth. Do you have feelings for me? I know the answer, but you’ll need to convince me otherwise if you’re really breaking this between us off.”
I clear my throat and sit up as straight as I can manage in the car. “I don’t have feelings for you.” I look him dead in the eye when I say it.
Rory chuckles, but it’s bitter. “That’s such bullshit.”
“I’m sorry I let you think there was more here, but there isn’t.”
“Just stop, Valentina. We both know you are lying. Now I just want to know why? Is it because you feel bad for me, being with someone as sick as you, or is there another reason?” When he is done speaking, Rory glances past me again at Chema.
“What?”
“Do you have feelings for more than one person?”
I blink, trying to make sense of his words. “What are you talking about?”
“The way I see it, either you think you are self-sacrificing on my behalf and saving me for some reason, or you have feelings for someone else also. I say ‘also’ because I very damn well know you have feelings for me too.”
“Stop telling me what I feel. I don’t have feelings for you, Rory. Not like that. I’m grateful like I said, and I’ll happily consider you a good friend and a good memory from my time in KC, but stop putting words in my mouth.”
“Then answer the question. Is there someone else you care about?”
I turn and look at Chema, who stands and puts his hands in his pockets. His eyebrows are drawn together with concern and a questioning look in his eyes. I signal at him again to wait. I see now what Rory sees. He thinks I’m in love with Chema. This is my out. I swallow hard. I know if I take this step, if I dare utter this awful lie, I’ll be putting the nail on the coffin of Rory’s brief chapter in my life.
But for Rory, I do it. Because I love him, I can’t tell him the truth. “You’re right,” I say finally. “I have feelings for someone else.”
“Chema . . .” He says with a voice that cracks.
I turn to Rory again, and his eyes are glassy. I find no anger in his features, only hurt. I did that. I hurt him. But this hurt is less than the pain I would have caused by my death or by saddling him to a sick woman who would do nothing but take and take.
“Yes,” I lie. “Chema. He will take good care of me, so you don’t have to worry.”
Rory takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Well, that changes things.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I should have said sooner.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m glad we had the time we did,” he says. “Does he love you?”
I don’t lie because Chema does love me, even if I know it’s not the same type of love Rory is asking about. “Yes. He loves me. And I love him.”