“Exactly. I’m Dr. Ramirez’s research assistant.” She smiles again and splits her attention between my face and her computer screen as she reads my medical chart.
“I have to confirm information you have already given.”
“Okay,” I say. I squeeze my hands into fists and relax them, repeating the motion several times. I follow my calming technique with deep breaths as I prepare for what’s next.
“Please state your full name.”
“Valentina Almonte.”
“Age?”
“Twenty-four.”
“City of Residence.”
“Well, it was Mexico City, but it will be Kansas City for the duration of the treatment as well as six months of follow-up care.”
“Any changes in symptoms?”
“No symptoms other than the slight back pain I already reported.”
“Has the frequency or intensity of the back pain changed in any way?”
“No. It’s the same.”
“I know when we spoke on the phone, you hadn’t received any treatment, but have you received any treatment since?”
“No cancer treatment. No. I only take over-the-counter pain medication sometimes for my back, but not every day.”
“Thank you,” Mandy says. “I know it’s weird because you gave all the information already, but I want to prepare you. Many doctors, nurses, and even hospital staff will have you confirm a lot of the same information over and over. Please be patient with us. It’s hospital policy.”
I smile reassuringly at her. “Sure,” I say. “No worries.”
“I do have a few concerns about your eligibility,” Mandy says, and my stomach drops.
No. She can’t turn me away now. This is my best shot. The only one I want to take. I can’t be kicked off the clinical trial before I’ve even started. My mouth dries up as I try to focus on her words. I picked this trial—and Dr. Ramirez—because it is the most aggressive cervical cancer treatment anywhere, and I want to be as aggressive as possible.
“You’re a very special case, and Dr. Ramirez agreed to make some exceptions for you, but I want to reiterate that this process will be very difficult. Are you sure there isn’t any support system you can count on? A friend, perhaps? You’ll need someone to care for you after hospitalizations and drive you when you are too sedated after appointments.”
“I’ll be able to hire help as needed. That sounded really stuck-up. That’s the American expression, yes? Stuck-up?” Mandy nods. “I just mean I have family in Mexico who is paying for my treatment and resources while I’m here. I’ll be able to hire nurses and drivers as needed, and besides, my apartment is only two blocks from here. I wouldn’t compromise my eligibility into the trial. If it’s money you are worried about, I understand none of my treatment is covered under the trial. Since I don’t have medical insurance, I’ve given deposits already, but if you want, I’m happy to pay in full in advance.”
Mandy’s eyes soften, but I don’t mind it as much as I would anyone else’s sympathy. I couldn’t stand Mom or Dad looking at me like that. I definitely couldn’t stand Chema or my sister Pilar looking at me like that, so I keep it all to myself.
“It’s more than that,” Mandy says. “You’ll want some emotional support.”
“I don’t want anyone to know. Not unless they absolutely have to—if the treatment fails.”
“Okay. I’m following protocol, making sure you are going to have all the support you will need. But I’ll take your word for it that you have it figured out.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that. And I do. Really,” I reassure her.
“Okay, then. Are you ready to meet Dr. Ramirez?”
I nod, and Mandy walks me to an exam room. I wait, shivering in the hospital gown Mandy provided before she left, until Dr. Ramirez announces her presence with a knock at the door.
“Come in,” I say.
In walks a stunningly beautiful Amazon of a woman. I press my lips together to avoid gawking at her. She is tall and has muscular legs I would kill for—I can tell even through her scrub bottoms. I’m only a flyweight at one-hundred-and-twenty-five pounds, but I bet she is a bantamweight, or maybe even a featherweight, if she were a fighter. She wears a white coat over her blue scrubs. Her hair is up in a ponytail of straight dark-brown tresses that almost hit her waist, and she has the most expressive eyebrows I have ever seen on a woman.