“Don’t worry,” she said. “She is glad Hector has found someone who makes him happy.” Marisela studied me for a moment as I digested her words. “And,” she added, “I think she also hopes that his finding someone else means he’ll finally agree to the divorce.”
I was dazed, and my head swam. Surely, this is what was meant by an out-of-body experience. Not only did his wife know about me, for some reason, but she was discussing me with his mother. This was all too weird.
“Few marriages can make it through the tragedy of losing a child. I’m sure you know what happened.”
I nodded, still wordless. I didn’t know the details, but I knew their son had died.
“Andrea became very depressed. The poor thing. It’s understandable. She ended up drinking and having to go to a rehabilitation center. Don’t worry. She’s doing much better now. But even before his marriage, my son had led a tough life.”
The revelations about Hector were coming in waves, and I was growing uncomfortable at knowing so many details about a life which he clearly wanted to keep private. I had never imagined he’d had a hard life prior to the tragedy of losing his son.
“We were very poor when he was growing up. I’m sure you can imagine, for a poor, brown kid from Mexico to make it as far as he has in life, it took a lot. He’s always had to fight. I tell you this because I think it is important for you to understand his character. He doesn’t know how to not fight, or how to stop once he’s started.”
I couldn’t believe he had come from nothing. I had always assumed he was from an upper-class Mexican home. I’d convinced myself he’d grown up with a silver spoon in his mouth. Though his mother didn’t give many details, I understood that being poor in Mexico was much more dire than being poor in the United States. My heart constricted at the thought of a little boy balancing grade school and work—selling things or stealing things. Did he go hungry? Had they even had basic utilities when he was little? I couldn’t have been more wrong about him. He was what he was because he made himself from the ground up. No one handed anything to him. He had every right to be as proud as he was.
“Why are you telling me all this? It really seems very private to Hector.”
She cocked her head to the side. “I tell you because he never would.”
I nodded again, this time egging her on. She nervously glanced out the window to ensure Hector was still on his call. We had precious little time now.
“Still,” Marisela said, “even though her mental health has improved, Andrea could only repair things with Hector at the expense of her sobriety. She is not willing to make that sacrifice, and so Hector has stayed away. At first, he held onto the hope that time would heal their relationship, but Andrea is moving on. Hector needs to also. You understand?”
“I’m not sure,” I admitted.
“She’s asked him for a divorce many times over the last two years, but he always refuses.”
“He still loves her,” I said.
“No.” Her forehead scrunched up a bit. “He doesn’t love her. He will always care about her, but the romantic love they shared is gone. For both of them.”
“Then, why won’t he give her the divorce she wants?”
“You’ve met my son, right?” She laughed. “He’s got some ego in him. He believes himself to be perfect, and a perfect man wouldn’t get a divorce. He won’t admit defeat.”
“So it’s pride?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I think it’s pride but also something more. He took his vows very seriously, Carolina. Even now that he has met you, he is battling himself to let go of his past. The vows he has made to his first wife are still important to him, even if he isn’t in love with her anymore. She is also the mother of his only child. He’s having a hard time releasing his responsibility for her.”
Hector joined us back at the table, and I couldn’t ask her any of my million questions.
I had been so wrong about him and what I thought he cared about. I had misjudged him, and I had no right to. Marisela was obvious with her intent. I knew a Mexican mother matchmaker when I saw one. She took one look at me, like Ramiro’s mom used to look at me, and decided I was meant for her son.
If Hector was indeed engaged in an internal battle to let go of the past, I couldn’t be the one to nudge him in the opposite direction. While I wasn’t too concerned about getting married, I knew if I ever did, it would be for life—no matter what. I understood Hector’s demons now, and I couldn’t stand between him and Andrea, despite what Marisela wanted. This was Hector’s life, and he had to live with his own choices.
“I’m taking some time off,” he said slowly as if he were trying to get my attention.
I focused on his words. “Okay,” I said. “Going anywhere fun?” I sipped on my coffee.
“Yeah. I’ll show mom around here for a few days, then I’m taking her to Colorado Springs before she heads back home. I’ve never been, and I think she would enjoy it.”
“Colorado Springs is great,” I managed to say.
As we said our goodbyes, Marisela drew me down to her level to embrace me. I returned the hug, and she whispered in my ear. “Give some thought to what I said.”