“You know, if he had been a woman, and you were in love with her, I might’ve been into that,” he said, trying to lighten the mood. This was the problem. We knew each other too well. It muddied the waters, and it had to come to an end.
I kicked him playfully, and we both laughed. “Ramiro, we need to talk—”
“Not this again,corazón. Please. Not tonight.”
“It’s never a good time. You never let me talk because you know me so well, you know exactly what I’m going to say.”
His gaze dropped to the ground, and he buried the beer bottle in the grass. “On your birthday. That’s when you want to do this?”
“It’s one in the morning. It’s not my birthday anymore.”
Ramiro gulped a big breath and motioned with his hands for me to lay it on him.
“Ramiro, you need to move on. I’ve never seen you as anything other than my brother. What do I have to do for you to believe that will never change?”
“It’s because of him—”
“No. It’s not because of anyone. This might hurt for you to hear, but I may never end up with anyone. I’m not someone who needs a relationship. I’m not saying it will never happen, but even if it does, there is one thing I am sure of. It will never be with you.”
Because I loved him so much, the look of pain on his face crushed me. He winced as though I had stabbed him in the gut, but he wasn’t surprised. He couldn’t be. He’d known how I felt all along, but he wanted to pretend. I couldn’t let this go on any longer. I wouldn’t let a disease spread because the treatment might cause temporary pain, but somehow, I’d let it go unchecked in Ramiro.
“I want nothing more than for you to be happy,” I continued. “You need to stop distracting yourself with women who aren’t worthy of your love and find someone who is. You need someone who wants to care for you the way I know you will care for the woman you end up with. I wish—I wish with all my heart that woman could be me. It would make things so much easier—for both of us. AndI dolove you. More than you know, but I love you like a brother. It will kill me if what I’m saying takes you out of my life.”
He didn’t say anything as he let my words sink in. Instead, he stood and offered a hand as he had done earlier in the evening. I stood, and we were about an inch apart. He looked into my eyes, finding the same truth there that had come out of my mouth. He kissed my forehead, and I brought up my hand to his cheek so I could look at him again.
He was too manly to cry, but the glistening glare hurt as much as if he had shed tears.
“You will find someone, Carolina. You are too spectacular not to have a million men fall at your feet.”
“Ramiro—”
“Maybe years from now I won’t feel this way, but right now, the very thought of the man you choose in the end, well, I think it will kill me to watch. Though I have a feeling I just met him tonight.”
“Don’t do this, Ramiro.Please.We are family.”
He shook his head. “No. I mean, yes. I will stay away. For a little while. Please do me a favor, huh?”
“Anything,” I said, and I meant it.
“Don’t reach out until I do? I’ll be in withdrawals from you, and you know my ego can’t take you seeing me as anything other than the virile man that I am.”
We both laughed, but it was forced, and I punched him playfully.
“You’ll come back to us?” I asked.
“You are my family, first and foremost,” he said, reassuring me.
“You promise?”
“I promise.”