Cayden scooped up a bite of eggs and put them in his mouth. He glared at Blaine. While he hadn’t told him what Wendy Winters had said to him at New Year’s, the two of them lived together. He knew Cayden hadn’t been seeing Ginny for a while now. He just didn’t know why.
“Yes,” Ginny said, her voice that quiet kind of powerful that got Cayden’s blood moving at a quick clip. What she’d said helped too.
He looked at her, his eyebrows sky high.
“Yes,” she said again, this time to him. “If he’ll have me, we’re a thing again.”
4
“Oh, I think he’ll have you,” Blaine said with a laugh. Cayden hadn’t said anything, and that lit Ginny’s nerves on fire. “He’s been moping around here for months. If he’s not doing that, he’s throwing things and yelling.”
“Neither of those are completely true,” Cayden said, shooting another sharp look at his brother. “You’re finished eating. Don’t you have work to do somewhere?”
Blaine burst out laughing, and Ginny wished it would cut the tension in the kitchen. It didn’t, at least for her. She turned around and started cleaning up, her stomach tight though she hadn’t eaten anything at all. She supposed that could’ve been why her stomach hurt, but she wasn’t sure.
She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
She wanted Cayden in her life.
She wanted Sweet Rose.
She felt like everything had just been divided down the middle and she was trying to walk with one foot on both sides of the line. She needed to make a columned list of everything, just to get it out of her head and somewhere she could examine it rationally.
“I know when I’m not wanted,” Blaine said. “See you two later.” He got up from the barstool where he’d been sitting for the past half-hour, picked up his cowboy hat, and put it on his head as he walked down the hall and out the door that led into the garage.
Ginny finished washing the pan she’d made eggs in and set it in the dish drainer.
“Ginny,” Cayden said, and she turned toward him. At least fifteen feet separated them, and Ginny made no effort to close that distance. She needed it right now.
“If you don’t want—”
“You know I do,” he said. “I just don’t want you to lose Sweet Rose. That’s your core. That’s everything you’ve worked for throughout your entire life.” He wore an anguished look on his face.
Her chin started to quiver, but she pressed her lips and teeth together to get it to stop.
“I don’t think I’m worth that,” he said, looking down into his coffee cup. “That’s all.”
“That’s not your decision to make,” she said. “I know what I want.” She took a step toward him and then another until only the counter where he sat to eat separated them. “I want my own life. I don’t want that house. I want to make my own decisions. I don’t want to wear another formal gown for a year. I want to wear jeans and sweats and learn to ride a horse.”
She wasn’t sure what he saw on her face, but his eyes widened with every sentence she said.
“I want Sweet Rose,” she said. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But Cayden, I want you too. There is nogoodreason why I can’t have both.”
“Your mother—”
“Won’t live forever,” she interrupted. “I’ve already spoken to Harvey and Elliot, and we’re meeting tonight for dinner.” She turned her back on him and picked up the pan she’d fried the bacon in. Washing it with the hottest water that would come out of the sink and then using the garbage disposal to make sure the grease wouldn’t sit in the trap gave her a few minutes to gather her emotions back into the tight ball she needed them to be in.
She faced him again, finding him in the same position as before. “Will you come to dinner at my brother’s house?”
“Tonight?”
“No,” she said. “Sorry. I’m thinking Tuesday.”
He cocked his head to the side, and Ginny knew he was thinking through things. He was very, very smart, and he’d know Tuesday meant something to her. Otherwise, why not dinner tomorrow night? It was Saturday, and many couples went out on the weekend.
“Let me check.” He picked up his phone. He tapped and swiped and said, “Tuesday is fine. Which brother?”
“Drake,” she said. “It will be at his country house.”