“But not Tam,” he said quietly, frowning.
“Yeah, why not Tam?” Duke asked. “She’s been right there forever.”
Blaine already felt stupid for not seeing Tam all this time. For the car mats on her thirtieth birthday. For not even realizing his feelings had changed at some point. How did he answerwhy not Tam?
“She’s my best friend,” he said, shrugging. “I guess I never really thought to look at her as anything but that.”
“You’re lucky someone else didn’t snatch her up.” Duke’s phone rang, and Allison’s name sat on the screen. He swiped the phone up, sucking in a breath, as he jumped to his feet. He walked away from Blaine saying, “Allison, hey,” in a near-breathless voice.
Blaine’s frown deepened, because he wasn’t sure Duke should be so happy to have his now ex-girlfriend call him, only an hour after breaking up with him. He couldn’t control Duke, though, and he certainly knew better than to try to control how someone’s heart reacted to someone else.
His pulsed steadily in his chest, and he stayed on the couch until the door opened and Trey and Cayden came inside, both of them talking at the same time.
“There you are,” Trey said. “We were wondering where you disappeared to.”
“Just wedding-ed out,” Blaine said, looking up at them as they took off their ties. “How was the sparkler send-off?”
“Bright,” Cayden said. “Fun. Spur looked about ready to claw off his tie.” He grinned like that was the funniest thing ever.
“He probably was,” Blaine said. “I know I was. Getting married is entirely too much work.”
“He’s done it twice now,” Trey said, looking around at everyone. “I’d like to get there at least once. Hopefullyonlyonce.”
“I think we all would,” Cayden said, and Blaine nodded.
He stood up and turned off the TV. “Well, I’m beat. I was just waitin’ for you two, so I knew you were home.”
“Thanks,Mom,” Trey said, grinning at him. Cayden laughed, and even Blaine cracked a smile. The three of them went down the hall that led to the bedrooms, and Cayden veered up the steps to his room.
Blaine and Spur lived on the main floor, though Spur had been moving his stuff out steadily over the past few days. Olli lived right next door, so he wouldn’t be far from the ranch, and she had a big house with lots of room for Spur’s cowboy boots and hats.
They’d sat at the kitchen table one night a couple of weeks ago, sketching out a place for a corral and barn where Spur could keep All Out, the horse he loved to bits and pieces. Then he could saddle up and ride to work every day. As far as Blaine knew, that was still the plan, and he glanced at the door at the end of the hall, which was Spur’s bedroom.
“He’s not far,” Trey said.
“I know,” Blaine said.
“I think I’m going to ask that woman,” Trey said. “Next time I see her, I’m going to ask her if she’ll go to dinner with me.”
Blaine grinned at his brother and clapped him on the bicep. “That’s great, Trey. I’m sure she’ll say yes.” He watched his brother unbutton his dress shirt. “What’s not to like?”
Trey shrugged. “There’s got to be something women don’t like about us. I mean, none of us have managed to make a relationship stick for very long.”
Blaine’s throat closed, and he nodded. “Maybe there is. Or maybe you just haven’t found the right person.”Or seen them, he thought, Tam’s pretty face floating through his mind.
She was hot.Duke’s words assaulted him, and Blaine supposed his teenage self had thought Tam was hot. He’d just never considered her girlfriend material.
He sure did now, and the kiss they’d shared down the lane accelerated his heartbeat even now.
“Let me know how it goes,” Blaine said, and he continued down the hall to his room while Trey followed Cayden upstairs. Once behind the safety of his closed and locked door, Blaine brushed his teeth, examining his eyes as he did. He thought about kissing Tam, and holding Tam, and possibly being married to Tam.
They were great friends already, and he didn’t anticipate that changing. They had great chemistry together too, as Blaine’s blood seemed to turn into popping candy every time she touched him. He knew Tam wanted to get married, and if he asked, she’d say yes.
“For the right reason?” he asked himself. He wasn’t sure, and he needed more time to get his feelings and thoughts to align.
He knelt to pray, taking several seconds to breathe in and out first. “Lord,” he whispered. “Help me to have clarity when it comes to Tamara Lennox.” His mind started to quiet already. “I’m so grateful Spur and Olli got married today. They seem so happy and bless them that they will be happy.”
He wanted to be happy too, and he prayed for that next. “Help me make good decisions that don’t take months, okay? Help me be less indecisive and more proactive.” With nothing else in his mind, he added, “Amen,” and crawled into bed.