She’d picked up her own rock and hurled it at one of the bikes, knocking it over.
Yeah, I’ll make you stop.
And Holden Striley had advanced on her like he might actually hurt her. Which was when Carter Swenson rode up on his bike, clearly also just finished with football practice, but a little bit behind the rest of the crew.
That’s enough.
What, are you gonna tell Dad?Holden had advanced on him.
I don’t need to do that, but I’ll kick your ass if you touch her.
Then she’d looked up and had seen the curtains twitch, seen Dana’s face disappearing from the window.
She shook that memory off.
“I’m not sure if Ruby said anything to you,” Dahlia said. “But... I want to do some newspaper pieces, on the town history.”
Dana’s eyes sharpened, as if she knew exactly what Dahlia was going to say. “Is that so?”
“Yes. It’s about the way different events have shaped Pear Blossom. And you know that the history of our town is not complete without mentioning Caitlin.” Her throat tightened and she picked another sliver of color off her nails. She should just remove the whole manicure at this point. She also knew she wouldn’t. “I also don’t want you to be surprised by anything, and I don’t want to cause any more harm.”
“Are you worried that you’ll remind me my daughter is gone? Because I remember that every day.”
Pain lanced through Dahlia’s chest. “I was. But I realize that’s silly. Of course you do. Of course you think about it all the time. I’m sorry.”
“Every day. I think about it every day. And how there’s no justice for her. How her life was taken from her.”
It was amazing how... At ease Dahlia felt with Dana. Not in the middle. Not trying to be liked and trying to be truthful. She could just... Say it.
“You think she was murdered then,” Dahlia said.
“Iknowshe was,” Dana responded. “She hasn’t just been off living her life. She’s gone. She’s been gone since before I knew she was missing, I’m sure of it.”
“Nathan...”
“He’s back, you know,” Dana said, her eyes getting faraway.
“Nathan is?” So it probably was Nathan that Ruby had seen.
“Yes.”
“I can’t believe he’d come back. It was painful for the town when he—”
“The town,” Dana said, her tone scathing. “You can write all you want about how her disappearance affected the town. But you know what? The town never did have a right to act like they grieved her more than I did. They all whisper about me. And they think I’m crazy. They think maybe the problem is I was a single mother who let her fifteen-year-old run around with a boy who was just a bad apple. And you know... I was a single mother. So my behavior was suspect, and as a result so was Caitlin’s. Sneaking around with a boy doing God knows what. Immoral acts, most likely.”
“You think the town blamed Caitlin for...her own disappearance?”
“I think it was between every line. And if not her, then me.” She shook her head. “And when they were sure they had their villain, they wanted it all to go back to normal, and I couldn’t. But why did they have the right to claim it changed their lives while acting like I should...get back to how I was before? What gives them that right? They think they’re her champions just because they searched when she was missing. But how did they all treat her when she was here?Shewasn’t special to anyone. Not until it was too late. And in all that, I was never special either. And now I’m just an inconvenience. Walking around with too many bad feelings.”
Her words scraped against Dahlia’s soul. She knew it was true—she’d seen it. Pear Blossom absolutely defined itself by Caitlin’s disappearance. One of the scars of the community, and yet they wanted it neat, didn’t they? Contained. They wanted to feel sadness and regret and a bit of judgment over the whole thing.
The sort of feelings that let you keep a distance and lay just enough blame to believe it couldn’t happen to you, or to your children.
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Dahlia said, “why did you stay?”
And for the first time Dana’s face softened.
“In case she came back. I don’t expect that to make any sense. Because I do think she’s gone. But there’s a part of me that... That could never stand to leave. This place. The house. In case she came back.” She looked away. “Your sister is upstairs.”